Vegetable Slam Fest

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

What's a vegetable got to do all day but soak up the water and the sun? Maybe hold some impromptu Smack Downs with put downs. Well, let's see....

Vegetable Slam Fest
(or Greens With Envy)

It was a bright morning
All the vegetables astir
Who’d begin the Slam Fest
Was it him, was it her?
Then a bean heard a pea
Making remarks
On how provident it was
Being born and living in arks
Bean said, that’s what you call that?
Its a pod, you pea-brain!
Pea said, Pod’s what you’d call it
‘Cause thinking’s a strain
So call it a pod then
We really don’t care
Point is there’s arks of us
Hanging here in the air
Bean said, Well, smarty pants --
Or no! You peas haven’t any!
Well, I’m just one of a vine-full
One of oh just so many
But I’m my own bed
I  don’t have to share
I think it’s much better
Than arks in mid-air!
Pea said, You think that?
You, a plain old green bean?
We’re peas in a fine ark
And we’re beautiful Pea Green
Bean said, Aw, you need shelling
Popped out in a bunch
Whereas I’m picked alone
For my snap and my crunch
Carrot said, Bah and humbug
I’m adding my voice
I’m far more than colorful
Really first choice
Grow deep in the earth
Ferny greens show above
When folks pull me out
Right away they’re in love
I’m Orange, not Green, see
Peas and beans yell: So’s squash!
Carrot say, I’ll share the color
But I’m prime fast food nosh...
And it would have gone on thus
But a rainstorm blew in
The skies opened up
And it made such a din
That the Vegetable Slam Fest
Was called due to rain
As they all needed watering
None was heard to complain
Besides, there’d be tomorrow
For another Slam Fest
Scorning digs, slams and knocks
See who smacks down who best
For what else has a vegetable
Really got to do?
Just wait till they’re harvested
For me and for you


Submitted: April 26, 2012

© Copyright 2022 Wilbur. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:



Vegetables Slam Fest. Just for a moment I thought it was something Mike had written, and with a name like that it was begging to be read.

I was thinking about how you have the knack of bringing inanimate objects to life and give them character.

Don't think I can bring myself to eat my greens any more....or my carrots!

They might be screaming in a pitch higher than the human ear can hear at

Thanks Connie!

No really thanks, another delightful read

Have a lovely day Dibs

Fri, April 27th, 2012 5:33am


Thanks, Dibs. I think they know what their destiny is, and are proud to fulfill it. Much as I made it sound otherwise. Eat hearty. Unlike we poor fools who don't know where we are headed. We might well (and do) scream!
Be well and stay safe - Connie

Fri, April 27th, 2012 8:07am


This is great. Fun, funny...all good stuff. And, made me hungry. Thankfully I have baby carrots in the fridge, begging to be eaten!

Fri, April 27th, 2012 4:37pm


Oh, goodie. Funny, fun. Amusing others is my favorite thing. Thanks again, for every thing and always...Connie

Fri, April 27th, 2012 9:49am


I just Loved this!!
Connie you got me here.
I am a vegetable Nut and connoiseur.. HA connoiseur maybe.. But this was much fun. Is there going to be another slam fest when it stops raining ?? ;-)

Fri, April 27th, 2012 9:07pm


Now, that's an idea whose time may be coming! Thanks for the nudge. That could be great fun...chard against kale against beet greens and zucchini vs. summer squash, and sd so on...
thanks so much. glad it tickled! many warm regards, connie

Fri, April 27th, 2012 2:39pm


rah rah rah....or rather raw raw them ruins veggies....cute concept

Sat, April 28th, 2012 5:59am



Sat, April 28th, 2012 2:23am

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