Vegetable Slam Fest

Vegetable Slam Fest
(or Greens With Envy)

It was a bright morning
All the vegetables astir
Who’d begin the Slam Fest
Was it him, was it her?
Then a bean heard a pea
Making remarks
On how provident it was
Being born and living in arks
Bean said, that’s what you call that?
Its a pod, you pea-brain!
Pea said, Pod’s what you’d call it
‘Cause thinking’s a strain
So call it a pod then
We really don’t care
Point is there’s arks of us
Hanging here in the air
Bean said, Well, smarty pants --
Or no! You peas haven’t any!
Well, I’m just one of a vine-full
One of oh just so many
But I’m my own bed
I  don’t have to share
I think it’s much better
Than arks in mid-air!
Pea said, You think that?
You, a plain old green bean?
We’re peas in a fine ark
And we’re beautiful Pea Green
Bean said, Aw, you need shelling
Popped out in a bunch
Whereas I’m picked alone
For my snap and my crunch
Carrot said, Bah and humbug
I’m adding my voice
I’m far more than colorful
Really first choice
Grow deep in the earth
Ferny greens show above
When folks pull me out
Right away they’re in love
I’m Orange, not Green, see
Peas and beans yell: So’s squash!
Carrot say, I’ll share the color
But I’m prime fast food nosh...
And it would have gone on thus
But a rainstorm blew in
The skies opened up
And it made such a din
That the Vegetable Slam Fest
Was called due to rain
As they all needed watering
None was heard to complain
Besides, there’d be tomorrow
For another Slam Fest
Scorning digs, slams and knocks
See who smacks down who best
For what else has a vegetable
Really got to do?
Just wait till they’re harvested
For me and for you