pain and stress

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
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Submitted: August 27, 2013

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Submitted: August 27, 2013

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Lurking somehwere within is shreded wear and tear of the same mask trying to perform the same old task that gives back the same result's which causes conflicts with others as they form little cults.

Lurking somewhere within me is the trapped shadow wanting to be free into the light just wanting to go away instead of showing up late at night.

Even during the day no matter what i do in any shape or form it never goes away as if it were a shade over my head leaving me in a dark place with imaginary friends who are all dead from bad thoughts and self hate wondering if this always will be my fate.

My heart is torn and stitched that when i feel like i got it back together everything falls apart cause my mind snitches to my emotions that anything of promises or words are like promotions to be abused. 

I want to love again to my best but im afraid im just a tool to people just like the rest.

And they wonder why i have trust issues to the point i would cut or stab somebody to leave a scar tissue and pain would be felt  if it was a kife to a bat or simply me taking of my belt just to leave skin raw and have people feel that they wished i would use a saw.

Hatred for myself i feel because i love to feel i belong somehwere when in reality i dont belong here, there, or anywhere.

Im lost with a loving heart that i want to share, if only i can fully open up i might realize that i really can care.

Am i crazy or am i insane for ether way nobody will want to come in my lane for ill just look at it as im passing through as i leave many people behind me covered in the colors of black and blue and sometimes the color red and forever more ill be this way till my death bed.

But i dont want to die in hatred 

I want to die feeling love, as if i can really go to the heaven's above. 

 


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