WHAT THINGS SHOULD BE REALLY KNOWN AS:

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Jokes  |  House: Booksie Classic

Names of things don't tell the whole story. Proper definition of simple things done for the edification of the public.


 


 


 

WHAT THINGS SHOULD BE REALLY KNOWN AS:


 

BY: WILY GEIST


 

NURSING HOME: (WAREHOUSE FOR OLD PEOPLE.)

TEA-PARTY: (POLITICAL PARTY THAT DOESN'T BELIEVE IN GOVERNMENT: I.E SOMILIA)

SOCIAL SECURITY: (LIFE SUPPORT FOR OLD PEOPLE) OR WHY GRANNY STOPPED WORKING IN THE COAL-MINE.

CHILDREN: (MONEY PITS, THAT EAT, POOP AND BECOME TEENAGERS)... ( A TAX-DODGE THAT DOESN'T TRULY PAY OFF, SEE WAREHOUSE FOR OLD PEOPLE)

TEENAGERS: ( THE SURLY ONES WHO STARE AT CELL-PHONE AND HAVE TATTOES THAT MIRROR MASS-MURDERS.)

MIDDLE-AGE: ( MALE MIDDLE-AGE PERSON IS LOSER OF HAIR, FRIENDS AND JOB.) (RICH MEN GET TOUPEE, AND SPORTS CAR AND FEEL BETTER)

FEMALE MIDDLE-AGE PERSON IS ONE THAT HAS MALES JOB NOW AND DREAMS OF HAVING A BOY-TOY LOVER AND QUITTING HER JOB.)

SENIOR CITIZENS: (SHIPPED TO WAREHOUSE OR MOVED TO A SWAMPY STATE CALLED FLORIDA)

PETS: (LOYAL FRIENDS), BUT THE RICH TEND TO DRESS THEM LIKE BABY DOLLS.)

SOCIAL NETWORKS: ( ALONE MAKERS, TIME SPENT HOPING FOR FRIENDS.)

COMMUNISTS: (RUSSIANS—GAS-STATION WITH EVIL DICATOR-NAMED PUTIN) WHO SOME REPUBLICANS LOVE SINCE HE HUNTS IS NASTY AND NOT A BLACK PRESIDENT CALLED OBAMA.)

(CHINESE--- GOVERNMENT RUNS-NEAR SLAVE LABOR CAMPS ---MEANS THEY ARE LOVED BY UNITED STATES MANUFACTURERS. SHORT HAND FOR WHERE ALL THE JOBS HAVE GONE. )

APPLE: ( ONE-TRICK PONY CELL-PHONE SELLER.) Phones made in China and keep on getting bigger and more expensive

COLLEGE: ( EXPENSIVE METHOD FOR TEENAGERS TO DRINK BEER AND MAKE FOOLS OF THEMSELVES.) (No longer affordable for poor or middle class.)

DOCTORS: (PROCESSORS FOR INSURANCE COMPANIES.)

NURSES: (DOERS OF THE DIRTY WORK OF DOCTORS.)

CAREGIVERS: ( DOERS OF THE DIRTY WORK OF NURSES. THEY DEAL WITH DIAPERS,OLD PEOPLE FALLING DOWN AND THE HELLISH NIGHTMARE THAT IS OLD AGE) (Normally caregivers make near slave wages and are foreign born or illegals that work in that warehouse for old people)

INSURANCE COMPANIES: (THE MIDDLE MEN THAT MAKE THE COST OF HEALTHCARE EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE.)

SINGLE-FAMILY HOME: ( A MONEY PIT THAT CAN GO DOWN IN VALUE.) KIDS WANT AN OPEN-C0NCEPT MANISON. WHAT THEY CAN AFFORD IS A REFRIGRATOR BOX IN THEIR PARENTS DRIVEWAY.)

MANISON: (WHERE THE INSURANCE COMPANY CEO LIVES OR THAT DOCTOR THAT BOTCHED YOUR NOSE JOB LIVE.)

REALITY STAR: ( NO-TALENT NEEDED BUT VISUALLY APPEALING AND WILLING TO BE DRUNK AND STUPID ON CAMERA.)

CABLE TV: ( NOTHING BUT RERUNS AND CRAP VIEWER.) ( The bill will go up ever six months until you cancel this wasteful service that is monopoly of monotony.)

REPUBLICANS: (CRANKY, OLD MAINLY WHITE FOLKS, STILL SPEWING THE HATE SPEECH OF SPIRO AGNEW OR NIXON:

MAIN JOB IS TO BEG FOR MONEY TO GET REELECTED)

DEMOCRATS: ( LESS CRANKY, MORE PROGRESSIVE, BUT LIKE REPUBLICANS BECOME BEGGERS FOR MONEY TO GET ELECTED.)

LOBBYIST: ( THE ACTUAL WRITERS OF LAWS FOR CONGRESSMEN WHO THEY HAVE BRIBED.)

CHRIS CHRISTY: ( CORPULENT VERSION OF NIXON, ALL BLUSTER WITH SHADY DEALINGS)

MITT ROMNEY: ( MORMON FAILED PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE WHO CAN'T RELATE TO THE AVERAGE SLOB. PREVIOUSLY CAREER DISMANTLING AMERICAN BUSINESS AND SHIPPING TO A COMMUNISTS COUNTRY)

JEB BUSH: (THE SMARTER BROTHER OF GEORGE W. BUSH. REPUBLICAN WHO MADE MARRIED A MEXICAN LADY. EX-GOVERNOR WHO HELPED HIS BROTHER GET ELECTED BY THROWING DEMOCRATIC VOTES INTO A PIT OF HUNGRY GATORS. HIS PREVIOUS MODERATE VIEWS AND BROTHER'S SCREWUPS MAKES HIM ALMOST UNELECTABLE, BUT THE MASSES CAN BE ASSES.)

RAND PAUL: ( STRANGE REPUBLICAN WHO DOESN'T WANT TO INVADE OTHER COUNTRIES. HE WANTS TO BE PRESIDENT AND SOMETIMES EVEN SPEAKS TO BLACK PEOPLE. THE NORMAL REPUBLICANS HATE THIS MODERN STYLE THINKING, NO CHANCE OF GETTING ELECTED.)

JOHN MCCAIN: ( SENATOR THAT WANTS TO INVADE AND BE AT WAR WITH ALMOST EVERY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD EXCEPT ISRAEL. GRUMPY , BUT DOESN'T APPROVE OF TORTURE, SO HE IS CONSIDERED A RHINO.)

HILLARY CLINTON: ( FRUMPY OLD LADY, WHO CLAIMS TO BE A DEMOCRAT, BUT REALLY IS A REPUBLICAN SINCE A SMALL CHILD, LIKES BIG DONORS AND WILL EVEN STAY MARRIED TO A HORN-DOG TO TRY AND GET ELECTED PRESIDENT. LIKE MOST REPUBLICAN'S SHE NOT GOOD CAMPAIGNER OR PEOPLE PERSON.)

RONALD REAGAN: ( REPUBLICAN VERSION OF JESUS, AS PRESIDENT HE GAVE TO THE RICH AND MILITARY COMPLEX ODDLES OF CASH, HE WAS SADLY SUFFERING FROM ALIZHEMZERS WHILE PRESIDENT, SOLD MISSILES TO IRAN, GAVE AMNESTY TO MEXICANS (TO BREAK UP UNIONS.) HE RAN UP INCREDIBLE LARGE DEFICITS WITH MILITIARY SPENDING. ALL THESE THINGS ARE FORGOTTEN BY REPUBLICANS WHO CHANT HIS NAME WHENEVER RUNNING FOR OFFICE. IF HE HAD BEEN A BLACK DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENT HE COULD HAVE BEEN EASILY IMPEACHED.)

TED CRUZ: ( BAT-SHIT CRAZY, CUBAN/CANADIAN WHO HATES GOVERNMENT BUT IS EMPLOYED SORT OF BY BEING A SENATOR FROM TEXAS. HIS GOAL IS TO SHUTDOWN THE GOVERNMENT FOR POOR PEOPLE AND KEEP IT ONLY OPEN WHEN A RICH PERSON/COMPANY TELLS HIM HOW TO VOTE. HIS FATHER IS PREACHER WHO PREACHS HATE AND FREE ENTERPRISE. AS A CUBAN HE DOESN'T, WANT MEXICANS IN OUR COUNTRY, UNLESS THEY ARE CUTTING HIS GRASS. HE DOESN'T WANT POOR PEOPLE TO GET HEALTH INSURANCE. TED WANTS TO BE PRESIDENT AND MAYBE HIS WIFE WHO WORKS FOR GOLDMAN SACH CAN HELP. )

MARRIAGE: (50% FAILURE RATE SO YOU PAY YOUR MONEY AND TAKE YOUR CHANCES. HAPPINESS FOR DIVORCE ATTORNEY'S A CRAP SHOT FOR YOU! FOR THE MAN ONE MUST BUY A DIAMOND RING, LIKE PAYING FOR A PROSTITUE, BUT NOT SO SIMPLE.)

FOX NEWS: ( BRAIN CHILD OF NIXON ADMINSTRATION, FROM HADLERMAN, NIXON AND ROGER AILES. THIS SHOULD TELL YOU THE TRUST-WORTHY NEWS OPTIONS OF FOX-NEWS.)

FUNERALS: (NOW YOUR DEAD, AND RELATIVES WHO FEEL GUILTY SPEND MONEY ON A BOX TO BURY YOU IN, THIS IS THE SADDEST THING WHEN THEN DIDN'T BOTHER TO VISIT YOU IN THE NURSING HOME(WAREHOUSE FOR OLD PEOPLE.)

TAXES: (IF YOU ARE VERY RICH YOU CAN HIDE YOUR MONEY, IF YOU ARE POOR AND MIDDLE-CLASS YOU WILL HAVE PAY YOUR SHARE, JUST LIKE DEATH YOU GET SCREWED WITH THIS ONE.)

 


Submitted: December 20, 2014

© Copyright 2021 wily geist. All rights reserved.

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