His picture was in my hands. i broke down into tears. It was a few months ago from that day but the tears were as heavy as the first ones. I missed him so much. our house is so silent with out a wise craking ten year old. I couldn't let him be dead at first, now i see it as the dissapointment of the universe. mom and dad tell me he's in a better place but he's favourite place ever was at home with my so it's not fair. It isn't like he actually got a good long life or was in a major heart attack. We just found him not breathing one morning, we think he might have thrown up in his sleep. He was such a joker with a new way to make you laugh every day of the year. I couldn't let this happen. I remebered one thing he loved most in the world. Skateboarding. The guy spent Christmas Day on his stakeboard. He skipped school to go to skating events. I had never joined him for fear of falling (I also have fears of spiders, school and knees!) but this time, for him I needed to do this. It was summer, the blistering heat was almost mind-numbing. I was wearing my shortest shorts and slieveless t-shirt and I had sweat to my eyeballs. Once I hopped on the skateboard, for some reason i was cooled down.I did stuff I'd seen Jake (my brother) do alone sometimes. It wasn't to bad. I constantly thought i would fall and suddenly I felt like he had his arms around me, guiding me the whole way. I flew down a huge ramp and he slowly let me go, so I let him go too, I have never been held by him again but I entered Tenesse State Skateboarding Competiton (TSSC) and won $70,000 plus a really big trophy. I even got Tony Hawk to sign Jake's skateboard, it's what he wouldv'e only dreamed of when he was alive. Sometimes I wonder if the reason he is dead is so i can be a good boarder, but then it makes me feel like it's my fault so I stop thinking of it. I got over all my fears except two 1) Throwing up in my sleep 2) Forgetting Jake
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