When I look in the mirror, I hate the girl staring back at me. She has super short hair that she died blond. She has acne on her face,chest,and back. Her bright hazel eyes are surrounded by bruises from loss of sleep. Her smile is fake and you can see the pain in her eyes. She weighs 135 and wears 36DD. She is nowhere near perfect. Her 36DD causes boys to want her just for that reason. She hasn't been truely loved by a guy. She cries every night because she refuses to let others know how much she really hurts. She has so many scars from her habbit of cutting on and off. She wishes she could be thin and beautiful like the girls that all of her crushes like. And she wishes she where older so she could fall in love with Adam Lambert(despite any gayness). She lives in her own little world that is made up of pain and darkness. She has friends but they don't really know her. They wouldn't understand her. Nobody ever does. People call her a slut because she wants to find someone to take away her pain. Someone to make her happy and loved. This girl loves to sing. She can admit that she sounds alright but shes never good enough. She wants to gouge out her own eyes when she sees couple in love. She eats when shes board or depressed. Shes not a clean freak and shes definately not normal. She wants to work with dead people instead of live ones. She wants to lose herself in a black void of nothingness. She thinks about what it would be like to die. She never actually thinks of slitting her wrists or overdoseing, but she wonders how it feels. She reads an average of 20 novels a month. Her music and her dog are her best friends. Her real best friend moved away on her birthday two years ago. Right now, shes crying because of how pathetic she is but she continues to hurt herself. She laughs at her own pain. But what bugs her the most is that noone will ever know who she really is because shes afraid they'll never understand. This girl is me. And I constantly want to kill her...
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