I've Been Waiting for You

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Real life account of the author about her love of a man whom she is not sure if he loves her too.

Submitted: December 16, 2012

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Submitted: December 16, 2012

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This is not normal of me anymore.

I am not really into writing when it is on personal stuff…really personal stuff…

You know what I mean?!

It concerns the heart.

You now have a hunch of what this will be all about.

 

Let me to tell you my story about this guy who has really smitten me.

It all started with my eldest brother.

He is a police officer.

When I was still living with my aunt, my brother sometimes would go there even while on duty to make some small chit-chats with my uncle or simply rest for they are on duty for forty-eight hours straight.

Don’t get me wrong here.

My brother is a good cop.

It is just like taking a break and breathing fresh air outside the office for other working people.

That’s all.

His visit in the house does not even last to an hour.

He would usually leave after 20-30 minutes.

 

Since they are on a buddy system at that time, he tags along his buddy Tom when he stops-by in my aunt’s house.

Tom is a cute guy.

I have a huge crush on him.

However, I had just known that he is already married and his wife just gave birth to their first baby.

He told my cousin and I that even if he loves his wife, he is not yet prepared to be married.

I was heartbroken, then.

For me, marriage is very sacred.

No couple joined by God can be separated by mere legal actions.

Only death can tear them apart.

I do not want to be a mistress in case Tom and I would develop mutual feelings.

But even if this is the case, I still have a crush on him.

 

Aside from Tom, my brother has another police friend named Mark.

Actually, they are really a trio.

They are the best buddies in their work according to my sister-in-law.

You can easily tell it because they are almost always together.

 

During the first months of 2012, I have decided to move to my brother’s house.

However, I was not able to transfer to his house immediately after I have finally decided to move out from my aunt’s house because one of my uncles passed away.

During the wake, Tom and Mark are there with us.

They even went with us in the province for my uncle’s funeral.

 

In our travel going to our province, Tom was seated just behind me while Mark was seated behind Tom.

You can already imagine how uncomfortable I am in my seat.

I can smell Tom’s fresh manly scent in my seat and my nape is exposed to him whenever I flip my hair.

I cannot lay my back at the van’s seat because I am afraid that we will already have skin contact.

When we arrived in our province, some of our relatives thought that Tom was my boyfriend.

Fortunately, Tom does not understand our dialect.

 

It was unavoidable for the three men not to get drunk while we were in the province.

I was worried for Tom because when I saw him, he was already vomiting and cannot stand alone anymore due to drunkenness.

On the other hand, Mark is also drunk but went to bed when he already felt that he cannot handle the alcohol’s effect to his body.

While worrying for Tom, a naughty idea came to me.

If only I will have a chance alone with him while he is drunk, I would kiss him.

But, of course, my rational mind stood up and reminded me that Tom is already married and kissing him would mean chaos to my belief.

 

I did have a chance to be alone with Tom while he is drunk.

I fell asleep in the kitchen when drunken Tom went there looking for a mug for him to have a hot chocolate.

According to him, drinking hot chocolate helps him recover fast from drunkenness.

Honestly, I did not fell asleep in the kitchen.

I actually planned to sit there and wait until Tom goes there.

However, when we were already there alone, my belief in marriage had overcome my naughty idea.

In short, nothing happened.

 

After my uncle’s funeral in the province, we immediately prepared to go back in the city.

I have only brought very few stuff that is why I am one of the persons who have finished packing my things early.

Because of this, my cousin asked me to hold her sleeping daughter while she packs their things for departure.

Since I do not have anything to do, I agreed.

Tom and my brother went to the market to buy some souvenirs items.

I went outside for fresh air as my sleeping niece is already sweating in my arms.

I was surprised to see Mark sitting outside.

I thought he was with Tom and my brother for they are the inseparable trio.

Because we are not that close, I did not talk to him.

Not a single word.

I hooted at my youngest brother instead who is more far than Mark from me.

 

Not long after, I felt that someone was staring at me.

I can see in my rear view that Mark’s head is directed to me.

To confirm if he is looking at me, I turned my head to his direction.

And there!

Yes, he is indeed looking at me.

I turned my head back thinking that it might just be a coincident that when I looked at him he also looked at me.

I turned my head again towards Mark’s direction and he is still looking at me, intently.

I returned his look.

But I am the one who first felt uncomfortable and turned my head back to my youngest brother.

I was really puzzled by that incident.

However, I have easily forgotten all about it when we travelled back to the city as we are on our same position in the van.

Tom was seated behind and I can smell him again.

Same uncomfortable feeling is with me again.

 

I have not seen Tom for how many months after we went to our province.

It is when my sister-in-law gave birth to my niece that I have seen him again in the hospital.

My sister-in-law asked me to get some hot water in the nurse’s station outside her hospital room.

I was about to close the door behind and walk when I almost bumped to Mark.

He said hello and I just smiled at him and walk towards the nurse’s station.

When I went back in the room, Tom was not yet there.

Mark said to my brother that Tom had to change from his police uniform to casual clothes due to the hospital’s policy.

After few minutes, Tom arrived.

 

Tom and Mark are happy to see my niece.

Tom said to my brother that having a child is an unexplainable feeling.

My brother agreed to him and then they teased Mark to get married too and have a child.

Mark just smiled and wrapped my niece in the baby blanket.

He said that he is already used to wrapping babies in their blankets due to his nieces and nephews.

While wrapping my niece, his hand unintentionally touched my knee.

Although I am wearing pants and his hands did not reach my skin, my body reacted differently.

And I liked it.

 

I did not see Tom and Mark again for some weeks after my niece was born.

I saw Mark again when he went to my brother’s house early in the morning.

My work is on a night shift and I went home early that morning.

I thought that the car outside my brother’s house is my other brother’s car and he is visiting us.

My smile is all-wide for this a new car again.

But my wide smile turned to surprised smile when I went inside and it was Mark who is in our living room.

Based on his reaction, he was also surprised to see me.

I don’t know what to do when I saw him.

My brother and my sister-in-law went to the market that morning to buy some food and ingredients.

I am thankful that my brother’s mother-in-law is already awake and preparing my niece’s bath.

I went to my niece and danced her since she was crying.

Although I appear to be calm outside, my heart and mind are not.

I can also see on Mark’s face that he is not comfortable either.

To ease the tension, I asked him if he already informed my brother that he is in our house.

He just said yes and gets his cell phone from his pocket and started typing.

I cannot think clearly that time and I am very clumsy.

Everything went back to normal when Mark and my brother already left.

 

During one of our chit-chats, my brother said that he will make Mark court me.

I told him that he is crazy.

After everything he said to me that Mark is gay, he will tell me that he will make Mark court me.

But that was just my denial mode.

Inside, I felt happiness and excitement.

 

I saw Mark again when we went home to our province again.

It was supposed to be my brother, my sister-in-law, my niece, and I who would go home that day for my other brother’s event.

I was surprised and excited when I learned from my sister-in-law that Mark will be coming with us.

I wanted to ask then if Tom will also come but I did not have the courage to ask it since my brother may suspect that I have feelings for Tom.

 

While we are preparing our things, Mark arrived in my brother’s house.

I was at my room when I heard his voice that made me smile and my heart start to pound.

My brother called me from the living room.

I went downstairs and asked why he is calling me.

He introduced me to Mark.

I wanted to laugh that moment because we already knew each other.

But it also came to me that we knew each other but we have not yet been introduced properly.

 

When we arrived in our province, we have been informed that our car that was supposed to pick us up in the terminal will not be able to come early.

My brother decided that we go to my sister-in-law’s uncle’s house and ask if he can let us borrow one of his cars for us to be able to go home.

Mark did the stare again while we are on my sister-in-law’s uncle’s house.

I looked back at him and then turn my head away for several times but his eyes were fixed at me.

We have not yet talked again after we were introduced.

I feel awkward about it and tried to ask him if he is okay since my brother often left him in our house.

He will just nod and smile.

Conversation is over again.

Until one night, my brothers and I are having some talk and Mark joined us.

I was not happy with my job that time and I already wanted to resign but I do not want to become a cop.

My brother told me that I should try to become a police officer too and sought support from Mark to explain why it would be great for me to become a cop.

I said no to my brother.

Mark agreed with my brother and asked me why I do not want to become a cop.

I just answered some laugh.

 

After that serious talking, I noticed that he became closer to me.

He already talks to me with some bonus pat on my shoulder or gentleman’s gestures.

With that, I started feeling something for him.

I was surprised that Tom did not even come to my mind for a long time now.

 

Our town fiesta is being celebrated when we are in the province.

Because of that, there are so many visitors and there were no rooms anymore for us to stay.

To accommodate our other relatives, our entire family decided to use just two rooms in our house.

The other rooms are to be used by our relatives.

The first room was occupied by my youngest brother and his family with my other brother.

The second room was for my mother, oldest brother, sister-in-law, niece, I, and Mark.

My father is in our other house that is why he is not included on the list.

 

One day, we have nothing to do and we are totally bored.

Since I am not in the mood, I went to out room.

When I closed the door, I saw Mark’s jacket hanging behind the door.

My naughty mind came into play.

I sniffed and hugged his jacket as if he is his jacket.

He smells so good.

I can’t get enough of the jacket’s smell.

From then on, every time I will be alone in the room, I will lock the door and smell his jacket.

 

Then the most shocking part for me happened.

Since we are sharing one room, my brother and Mark are sleeping on the floor and we, the girls, are the ones sleeping on the bed.

It is always my brother and Mark who will wake up and go down early.

But I do not know with Mark.

There is a day while we are still in the province when he came back to the room.

I had just waked up then but I still have not get up from bed.

My cousin is on my right and my niece is on my left.

He lied down next to my niece.

Since my niece is still a baby, the distance between us is like nothing.

It is as if we are sleeping together.

I can’t breathe properly that time.

I pretended to be asleep even if I am already wide awake.

Nothing happened between us though.

 

After our experiences in our province, Mark started chatting with me online.

My officemates are also teasing me that he is courting me.

I told them that we are just friends.

But they will continue to tease me.

 

He also has my cell phone number.

I am not sure if it is my brother who gave it to him.

I am just surprised that he texted me one night when they went to our neighbour’s party.

I am hearing him singing while I am receiving his text messages.

 

I won’t deny it anymore.

Yes! I have fallen in love with Mark!

And that is the very same reason why I am sad today.

I have been hearing that he is courting some other woman.

I think she is also a police officer because almost all of Mark’s police friends know her.

Mark also stopped chatting and texting me.

Maybe it is true that he is courting that girl.

 

Although I am sad about it I should learn not to because, in the first place, Mark never told me that he is courting me.

Nevertheless, I am still here waiting for that day to come.

Waiting for Mark to finally say he loves me too…

 

 

 

 

 


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