As I sit here on the fourth of July, people are celebrating, having fun, having a good time. I'm bored out of my mind.
I know I said I wouldn't write anymore, that I would concentrate on doing whatever was possible to build a relationship with you again. And believe me, I still am....that hasn't changed.
But I'm thinking about writing again, most definitely. My book has been completed, and I'm still not submitting anything anymore to publishers. The writings I will do will appear on here, so others may read them, but-more importantly- so there is a record of what I was thinking, what I liked to write. What I liked to do.
Writing is a part of me, dear daughter, it's a part of who I am. And, since a part of me is a part of you, maybe you will feel the pervasive itch of setting your words down on paper as much as I do. It's the one thing in these miserable times that gives me a sense of purpose, even if that purpose is solely self-oriented.
You see, I lived in that fantasy world for such a long time, creating stories in my mind, and dealing with that, that when I tried adjusting to the boredom of the real world, it drove me crazy. There was simply nothing to do with myself. So, writing fills a void, something that just simply needs to be done. I'm pretty sure you will understand that- if not with writing, then with what you will appreciate to do the most.
But I will continue to set my priorites in order....you, of course, will always come first. Everything else is, well, everything else. If you ever do read this and my other stories on here, I hope that they will give you an idea of who I was, and what I was going through. I hope this site is still on here. It would be a shame to go through this, and have it wiped away. But, at least there's the self-published book. Another thing I hope you will read when you get older.
So, I'll try to write again, even if it means very little to anybody else besides myself. I've quit on too many other things, to tell you the truth.
I love you, sweetheart.....always.
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