I'm walking across a tightrope,
That's ten thousand feet high,
Clinging to the edge of a cliff,
Afraid I'll slip and die,
Holding on to a string of barbed wire,
With a deep, black pit below,
A lose-lose situation,
Can't hold on, can't let go.
I've locked myself inside,
So no one can get in,
But now I've trapped myself,
I know I'll never win.
I'm walking through the darkness,
Arms forward, so I don't fall,
Blindfolded on a tightrope,
Unaware of what's below.
Submitted: August 06, 2009
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Comments
whoa! this was really good! Can't wait until another poem :)
Thu, August 6th, 2009 7:42pmi really like this one. Keep up the great work. let me know when you write another one
Fri, August 7th, 2009 2:11amwow that was really good i liked it a lot!!! i always envy people that can write poems cause i can't write a poem worth crap.
Fri, August 7th, 2009 2:18amVERY GOOD , JUST LIKE THE REST YOUR GOOD KEEP IT UP SJ
Fri, August 7th, 2009 9:45amWhat's wrong with it? This is awesome! :] I like it
Fri, August 7th, 2009 2:03pmDUDE!! This was awesome!! I absolutely loved it!...Nice job! I feel like that a lot as well..especially in my nightmares..
.:XxJessxX:.
THANK YOU SO FREAKIN' MUCH! For asking me to read this, this was amazing, great job :P
Sat, August 8th, 2009 5:32amlove it....keep on writting no matter what buddy
with love
I like this poem but maybe it would be better if it was longer or more drawn-out to increase the sense of distance, the rhyming couplet at the end does bring it to a very satisfying close :)
perhaps the bit talking about '...locked myself inside' needs expanded on so that the focus of the poem is not changed as drastically?
hope this helps :)
This was amazing! I loved it so much! Wow is all I can say!
Sat, August 8th, 2009 5:57pmthis is a really good piece! i like the rhyming sceme! very well written!
also the pic you chose is sweet too
?monica
your uncertainty is touching
the hearts of many,
But be aware,
you should have not any.
If it hurts so much,
Just let go,
Don't be afraid
of what's below.
If possible,
someone will catch you,
and if not,
Don't be blue.
We, your readers,
Are here for you.
Once again it was amazing. Nothing seems wrong with it to me, but maybe it was that this poem is sorta darker than your last two and your just not used to it or something
Mon, August 10th, 2009 2:24pmReally, really good!
I love the final line; it's a little dark and unrelenting from the rest of the poem.
Merciless writing!
Mexi
You are a very talented writer, I really liked this poem! I'm not good at poetry but I will be posting some soon =)
Tue, August 11th, 2009 7:54amHey,
It's really good. Your talented. Sorry I haven't commented eariler but I've had a lot going on. I'll read some more and comment on them.
As everyone has said this is a good poem I think the best out of what you have posted so far. Great flow and rhyme. Well written you have a talent.
Thu, August 13th, 2009 5:06amI adore the whole idea of it. Lovely work.
Thu, August 13th, 2009 6:23amThat was really good, as for {something about it doesn't seem right.} well nothing really, I find when I write poems, I look it over and have a feeling that something is not right about, but that is the beauty of potery, it never seem complete. What you don't see your readers will, but as a reader it comes out really well.
I will be reading more of yours
~Zero Saint~
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rebekahBlaue
This is very good. I liked it alot. I'm not sure what it is that doesn't seem right to you but i absolutely adored it. Keep writing and don't stop no matter what! :]
Thu, August 6th, 2009 9:22amAuthor
Reply
Thanks! I wasn't sure either...
Fri, August 7th, 2009 1:41am