Shattered (Broken Pieces)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
Morena is rejected by her so-called "friends" and pushed over the edge. Warning for suicidal implications.

Submitted: February 17, 2008

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Submitted: February 17, 2008

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Rejected again. Morena Fillian slowly turned her back on her old clique and walked away, her shoulders slumped and tears of disbelief filling her eyes. Another group that didn’t want her. They had told her she didn’t fit in and had said the two final words Morena dreaded and had heard too many times: “It’s over”.

Those two words echoed over and over again in Morenas' head. It’s over. Over. Cold pain filled her and the hard lump in her throat constricted her breathing. No longer able to hide her pain, Morena let her tears fall, and raced to the safety of the girls’ toilets. She locked herself in one of the cubicles, dumped her bag carelessly on the floor, then dropped down next to it, hugging her knees in a failing attempt to still her trembling body.

After a while, Morena regained control and calmed herself down. She cleaned herself up and headed for class.

Empty people. Empty hellos. That was all there was to greet Morena in class. She couldn’t stand it. She was living a nightmare and no one had even noticed. They just offered her empty hellos, and then went back to ignoring her. Or were they talking about her behind her back? Morena felt eyes burning into her and turned around in time to see her old crowd watching her, their faces emotionless. Blinking back tears, Morena turned back to face the front of the room.

By the end of the class, she had formulated a plan. It may not work, but Morena was finding letting go and accepting that she was no longer a part of her clique the hardest thing she had ever had to do and wasn’t ready to give up.

Not completely sure why she was doing it, Morena headed for her old group. They stood together, oblivious of her, talking and laughing as if nothing had even happened. Although Morenas' world was falling apart, she found that oddly comforting. Plastering a big, fake smile on her face, Morena walked up to Bree.

“Hey. You guys were kidding about me leaving the group, right?”

“Get out of here. You know we’re serious. It’s over.” Bree answered curtly. She turned her back on Morena and joined Andria, Dawn and Tara.

“Hey. Why are you ignoring me? We’re supposed to be friends!”

Bree, Andria, Dawn and Tara exchanged looks, all of them remaining quiet. Morena began to lose her temper.

“What did I do? What’s going on?” Morena felt her insides shatter.

Still, no one answered her. There was an awkward silence. Finally Andria spoke up.

“Morena. We’re not friends. We tried to let you down easy. Tried not to hurt you. It doesn’t seem to be working…” She trailed off.

“And…?”

“Well, it’s like this. We don’t think you fit in with us – you’re always keeping secrets and we hardly know you. In this group, we tell each other everything…”

“Cut it out, Andria. Just say it,” Bree snapped.

Andria wavered and stepped back. Bree sighed in obvious frustration.

“We don’t want you in our group anymore, Morena. You have never really been part of it. You just don’t fit in. How many times do we have to tell you? It’s over.”

“Oh,” Morena whispered, overtaken by a sense of betrayal. Morena turned and left, automatically heading for the girls’ toilets. On the way, she bent down and picked up a brick.

Inside the girls’ toilets, Morena stood in front of the smallish, rusty mirror. She studied herself with pure hatred. Why couldn’t she ever get anything right? Why couldn’t she find a place to belong?

A surge of anger shot through Morena. She stood back, lifted the brick and hurled it as hard as possible at her reflection. Shatters of glass flew, several bits slicing into Morena’ skin and pieces of the now broken brick grazed her legs. Morena winced but ignored the pain. After all, she was used to hurting. She noticed a few decent pieces of glass fragments on the ground that had somehow managed to stay intact. Leaning down, Morena carefully picked a particularly large piece up and glared at her reflection in it.

Empty inside, looking for shells, looking for fast rides, living through hell. That pretty much summed up Morena. All Morena had wanted was to fit in. She felt isolated. Hollow. Morena had no idea how she would deal with being rejected by her so-called friends.

She thought of all the other times she had been rejected. The first time it was because she wasn’t cool enough. Another time someone else had joined the group and Morena was discarded.

Morena had been grabbing like real mad. Her hand had finally grabbed something. Broken mirror. Glancing once more at her reflection, as if to say sorry, Morena whispered an empty goodbye and held the sharp piece of mirror up to her wrist...


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