Strong Apocalypse
Poem by: xjamesdavisx
Strong Apocalypse
She left me with agony,
with an image tough to cope
It seemed that of an cliffhanger
the imagery to unseen to grope.
My baby's motives:
were shaky at the time
Her heart was racing
like a horse on steady rhyme
Baby I am wondering ?
what is this uproar ?
was it you, me,
or the man next door ??
Your intent was wrong,
our love is bright
baby dont bring this home;
I dont want to fight.
Come on in sit abow.
lets relieve you of
this fury growl.
Frustration is running,
I'll give you time cope
I'll give you time to see
I'll relieve you of
this deranged agony
© Copyright 2016 xjamesdavisx. All rights reserved.
Comments
Depressingly relateable. I love the unmitigated feel of it. Another great piece.
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thanks !!
MMMM..thats one strong title and the idea behind the writing is strong.A couple of words missed out ie to..
but the message is clear..proof read when ya done Bro..the nice finish is always presentation..nice piece of work..I like the depth of your thinking and expression.
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Thanks runereader.... all opinions count thanks for the pointer
it was really good :D
Author
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thanks I appreciate it !!
good job. I agree with runereader. You should proofread it again and fix word technicalities, but other than that, very deep and very well done.
Author
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thanks for the advice
haha ya i didnt notice the mistakes till after I posted it but thanks for the help !!
very good
:]
I agree with catherine and runereader.
just a few words that weren't there.
but who knows maybe you wanted it like that
But still very good!!!
Author
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thanks very much for the comment
haha miss alley ya I messed up a little bit im editing that now
very depressing and powerful at the same time!
i wouldn't change a thing!
Author
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Thanks again for the comment !
I liked it! Very good. Dont change anything
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Thanks Kirsten... glad you liked it
Hmm? Well, I see an insightful man trying to soothe an angry woman. I've got to say that if you can soothe the beast you've got it made. :) Another nice job. ( 'a' cliffhanger )
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Haha thanks dragonfly.... ya i would like to think that a true writing isnt complete until you put all the insightful words and lived that experience !
hi! james. well, it takes two to tango. at the moment, seems like u've to give in a lot to save a messy situation but i'm sure ur efforts'll be worth it. for they'll save the relationship. an understanding mate is always welcome. loved it. ;-)
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Thanks bubbly.... I completely agree relationships arent always the easiest you just make them work and makeup up sex is normally the outcome so it works out good !!
Strong words and I somehow see some hidden pain. Very well written.
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Thanks a bunch !!
Very true. Very very true. Two thumbs up!
Justine
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Justine thanks again.... hahah more like "AIR FIVE"
sad, a little depressing, but you really captured the emotion. good job.
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Thanks !!!
Very true and a little sad, but you did a great job with this one, James. :)
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Thanks findingmyway.... Theres tons of obstacles and life and i've been through up and down with experience with this !!
this is a great poem it really touched me =)
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Rafael glad you liked it.... It really is great poem even more what i've seen and been through over my life !!
One of the storms in a relationship. You did a good job on the poem.
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Thanks glad u liked it !!
Loved it! THere were a few spots here and there were the rhythm (I can't spell right not, so if that's wrong, sorry)was kind of off, but you got it right back.
The meaning was great, and I loved the way you wrote it. I could almost see the fight happening. =)
Great job!
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Thanks Those !!
hmmm....makes me think
in the 4th stanza i didn't understand this line:
"baby dont bring this home;"
it doesn't fit the poem...and it sort of doesn't make sense....if i'm just not getting it, please tell me what it means in a comment on my page...
i like how you showed the woman's anger and the man's frustration
it was a well done poem ^^-
and now i'm off to see the rest!
*quickly runs to next poem*
:]
Author
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haha.... GiGi it basically was about a woman who was compacted with anger and "BABY DONT BRING THIS HOME" means he loves her soo much that he dont wanna have to fight again for her anger was of sudden agony
some grammer can be worked on but i like it ur poems are cool. =]
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haha thanks... glad u like it !!
wow. Pretty good
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Thanks !!
this is good :]
i like how you rhymed words that i'd never think of rhyming
and i love the mood it presents
nice job :]
Author
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thanks RogueNire....
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