Echoes of My Father

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
Many questions remain unanswered about who my father really was before he became the savage animal who abused my mother, my siblings, my self, and countless chemical substances to escape the hidden pains in his head...

Submitted: July 20, 2011

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Submitted: July 20, 2011

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The memory of my father echoes hollowly through my heart...
Reverberations shattered by the phantom ache within my mind...
Who was the man behind the mask of a horrible beast from my youth?
When did he become so ripped and scattered with shards of broken ashtrays?
How did he find himself in the dark moments when no one was around?
With nothing to disturb him, did he enjoy the silence or shake with rage at his circumstances?
Where did the smiling little boy go who I see in pictures of his early years?
What made my father a bipolar maniac with a tender heart and a savage temper?

The crash of memory echoes through my soul...
A moment collapsed into a silent flash of emotion...
The beast came out to play when least expected...
With cigarette drooping from his lips and enraptured fury in his eyes...
Snap of mind in a moment when everything seemed to be just fine...
Fist holes in apartment walls, welts on children’s backs and behinds...
The fury of my father is a snap-shot of my early years...
I have become a bipolar maniac raging behind the silent mask of my tender kindness...

A mind full of tears helps me to be more in control of my rage...
The harshest way to learn how to survive in this world...
I watched my father do all that should never be done...
The brief years he was around he made sure I knew the wrong...
With lashes of leather, he bled from me the desire to mimic him...
With nothing to disturb me, I hid in my closet soaked in tears...
The smiling little boy had been beaten out of me in this way...
And as I reflect on it all, my heart echoes with my father’s memory...

Copyright August 2006 Xoandre, www.xoandre.us


© Copyright 2020 Xoandre. All rights reserved.

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