I Can Feel It

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The terror of memory creeps from the dark recesses of my mind as I consider the pain and ecstasy of what it would be to embrace all the savagery that was my father's personality...

I can feel it creeping now...
creeping up inside my heart and mind...
The darkness seeps into my cracks...
a sludge of cold-heartedness...
infection spreading everywhere!

I can feel him creeping now...
drifting wildly among my thoughts...
His evil wants to take control...
and part of me is more than willing...
why should I go on caring?

The shadow of my father's soul...
is trying to take full control of me...
He wants me to become what he was...
Should I let his passions in?
Will I have the strength to hold on?

The savage hands that throttled me...
A childhood nightmare memory...
Bloody belt strap lashing out...
The searing heat of relentless anger...
The father unaware of his own son's agony!

I can feel him creeping deeper...
The passions racing through my veins...
Terrible desires of endless envy...
These things I cannot suppress...
So I find myself embracing all that he was!

Yet somewhere inside my mind...
My mother's tears absorb the worst of it...
And I find myself outside of me...
Taking control of everything I see...
And becoming something more than he and me!

Copyright September 2010 Xoandre, www.xoandre.us

Submitted: July 20, 2011