Everything That Is

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fan Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Danny's so in love with Tom. He describes how Tom is everything in his life - the sun, stars, hope, life - and how Tom makes things feel okay again.

Submitted: June 20, 2009

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Submitted: June 20, 2009

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He represents life. He represents love. He represents a side of me that I can only reach when he’s around. So easily, he takes away my insecurities and fears. I wish that I could do the same. I’ve told him that, you know, but he just gave me his tired smile and kissed my forehead, brushing away the curls that sometimes fell into my eyes.

He represents hope. He represents freedom. He represents the side of society that isn’t completely corrupted. All it takes is his presence to lighten my mood, and when I tell him that, he chuckles and brushes his lips along my jaw line, his tongue flicking out when he reaches my earlobe.

He represents faith. He represents my dreams. He represents the side of everyone who ever loved another. When he talks to me, his voice overthrows any other sound, and I feel the love that I have for him grow again.

When I say those three words, he does not smile, nor does he laugh. Instead, he cups my face in his hands and kisses me full on the mouth, his thumb moving so that it strokes my cheek gently.

It is these moments, however, when Tom leaves, leaving me alone in my bed. I hate how he does that; I cannot walk after him. Being paralysed from the waist down is hard – I generally prefer to stay in bed than face the pitying faces of the merciless world.

Tom and I both know, though we never say it, is that he leaves because me. He walks away because I can’t satisfy him further. It isn’t as if we’re both hungry from the lack of inactivity, it’s more that we want to express that love (a love that no one will ever understand) with each other.

Tom represents the sun I never see and the stars that will never glow for me. Tom represents happiness and a sense of wellbeing that I can never achieve. He represents the chance of safety that hides somewhere in my nightmares. I’m safe when he’s around. He wraps his love around me, and sometimes it helps me forget my disability.

I love Thomas Fletcher and what he represents.

When I tell him that, he doesn’t smile, or laugh, or even kiss me. He lies me down in my bed and crawls in next to me (on top of the sheets). He sits up, and cradles my head in his chest, stroking my hair, my face, my arms. He holds me in a way that pours out every ounce of his love and affection for me. He sings softly under his breath, and though I never recognise the song, he manages to lull me into a state of calm and creates a sense of everything right in the world.

Tom represents everything that is and when I tell him that, his well up with tears and he says, “I love you Dan.”

Everything that is, will always revolve around him. He is hope, life, love, safety, freedom, faith and the something in the nothing.

I smile.


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