..Scarlett's Diary..

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Poured my heart out in my diary.He's gone and never returning back.Atleast, not to me.Read for more....

Submitted: August 01, 2009

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Submitted: August 01, 2009

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What can I do? What can be done? It is all too late for queries. “Messed up!” is an understatement- anyone in my skin would possibly know she was beyond that. I have done wrong to myself and now I make myself suffer. Wasn’t it enough? The “unfit” thing, wasn’t it all enough? All my feelings are too many mixtures of emotion. Emotions which go beyond right and wrong, emotions that overwhelms my self made morals- my cold as stone principles. They are all past, gone with the wind, gone with him. My emptiness teases me in despair. How long will I hold myself? I knew I’m already pieces- it’s just that I’m made of skin, not clay. But my heart must have been made of thin glass and now I’m left with only long lost debris of it.

Oh! I can’t breath. Sadness has consumed me. I wonder if I tasted good enough. Love gave him the power to break, and so he did. Eyes drenched in memories, gaping hole in my heart, and swirling loneliness- he is gone. Could I be any fortunate than just seeing his face? At least, I can do so. The World Wide Web is pathetically amazing. It can never let me forget. I do not want to forget, such thought terrifies me. Moving on is facing death. What am I without him anyway? I am nothing, a living corpse. All illusions seem to compress me, my insides howl. Flashes of his face in my head and now my eyes are all wet. Scared as I am, every split while of my life knowing he’ll never come back to me. So, I do not hold hopes, I held my breath. All memories and the feel was etched somewhere within me. Letting go appears to be a sin. I am obsessed. I desire to connect him thorough my heart, my mind- in nothing but thoughts. It did not take long, the ride from the ever lasting to never lasting phase.

We now happen to live in two different corners of what is known as world. Believing was everything. But believing the person I love and who has broken me into uncountable pieces wasn’t hard at all. Love seems to make everything meaningless, illogical. Hate should have been the right feeling whereas; I’m obsessively in love with him.


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