Have you ever felt traped between a rock and a hard place?,
Well thats me stuck between two people, not knowing which way to go., ill tell you alittle about each of them and maybe someone can give me some advice on which path to take...
guy number one, hes 6'2 hispanic, with alot going for him, he graduates this year top of his class, but hes got a dark side, we have been together for 15months, but for the past 3months or so everything has been falling fast. we used to be so happy idid everything, bought him everything not expecting one thing in return.i fell like doing everything may have been the mistake. i pay his phone bill, bought him the phone, i bought him a p.s vista , that wasnt good enough so we re-turned it after paying $350.00 for it, we got full refund, so i got him a tablet in stead cause he always took mine. iv bought him over 5 games for his xbox, he broke his ipod i gave him mine, bought him over $100 dollars in itunes gift cards, after 5months he lost my ipod good thing i had my tablet by this time.i have to pack him food everyday or he will get mad.
now in the begining i went threw alot was in and out of a retreat was very violent but that seems to have reversed in the past 5months, iv been really good not yelling talking, but it seems hes taken to lieing, going behind my back, and denieing it, tells me he will stop it will be better, but i dont think it ever will his mom has fucked him up, she is crazy by the way, now he pushes me... never hitting but pushhing me out the way. i used to brush it off but now it leads to fight he swears, he wont take me to prom but asked this fat hipo when i said i needed space cause he ''felt bad'' idk why i didnt leave right then and there, or when he tryed getting with his ex behind my back or flirtig with a girl while i was in the retreat. he ignores me for days. then acts like nothings wrong...
let me tell you he knows how to use his words, he makes me feel like its my fault so i feel bad and take him back. its been working till now..
guy number two came into my life about two months ago... we talk every night he waits till i fall asleep to go to bed, he tells me im beautiful, he helps me threw things when im depressed or just having a bad day, he is 6'1 equadorian and guadamalin. he has the biggest heart, we met once in person on a camping trip. i found him on facebook two years later, we started talking and he makes me so happy, i laugh so much, i smile for no reason. but the other night somthing happened i didnt expect, he said i need to tell you somthing he said ur probly the most amazing girl iv ever meet there is no other girl like you, he goes i love you, i was so shocked i didnt expect that. my heart started races and i felt buterflies, man i hadnt felt that happen in a while and i asked myself, how do u feel towardds him and i think my feeling are the same. the problem is he lives 4 hours away in jersey,.... hes comming down next weeked to see me and i bought a plain ticket to go down tihs summer, but i still have guy one to deal with.
i feel like things will never change between me and guy 1 and with guy 2 i feel like it could be somthing amazing, but im scared to let go, im scared to try somthig new, i wanted to wait till i see him so i know what i want, but my mom says '' you cant see him till you end things with guy one'' i need help i dont know what to do i kiss guy 1 and it feels like im kissing a stranger cause he has changed so muchh ever sence his brother came home, i have no idea who he is or what hes doing everything is one big secret but with guy two he tells me where hes going and i dont even ask he treats me better than guy one has in months, and he doesnt even know me in person really we skype every night tell eachother everything and im lucky to get two texts from guuy one... i really dont know what do to....
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