Untitled.Literally.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
Emotional breakdown two weeks ago that gave me an urge to write. I was bullied by classmates growing up due to being a different race in a one race dominant primary school. Even teachers looked down on me, and I was sorta friends with all principals that cared for the school cause I had no one else. That was just a little background info to understand the poem.

Submitted: March 15, 2016

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Submitted: December 05, 2015

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Yet after all these years, 
the memories resurface to taunt me. 
A time where future was inapplicable 
to the likes of me,
And my suffering was of a typical child's cry.

My pain was in vain.
My anger erupted to scornful bitterness.
Knowing these ill resentment grows no good fruit.
I sought to forgive, though the acts were unpardonable.
I was believed to have forgiven and forgotten.

But, even when I so hoped this torment over,
After when I thought it was lost in oblivion. 
It dared show it's face...Through mine. 
I ignored it, Of course.

I thought of it as a false creation of the mind, 
That proceeded from a daily ordeal. 
Then, I lost control,
And panicked.
I was no longer myself, 

Yet my soul was still present in the body.
My words were branded, 
they were not mine.
Absurd words with senseless meanings were proven better 
Than the learned wisdom from agonies of an inner child.

The veil was rendered useless.
With every opportunity, Mine eyes quickened to tears
Every joke was an insult;
Every injury was fatal./left a scar

The ones who I longed to be close with,
for the sake of a companion,
Were too caught up within the heavenly sanctuary, a place
where without me it would not matter.

But, they were not to blame. 
It¡¦s not fair, They never were. 
After all, it was me who withdrew 
From the eyes of all who touched with a glance;
From the hands that foresees with a touch.

My sensitivity to sense every muscle movement in the eyes of others,
Made me realize how out-of-sync I was with them. 
With every twitch, I wanted distance;
With every glance, I wanted to crawl.
I wanted nothing more, but to hide behind the great wall.

Despite my fears of being looked upon;
My reserve traits in defense to my shameful mystic,
I¡¦ve always longed for genuine company,

One that I get to keep.


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