Finding my way back

Reads: 391  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 11

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
A girl who has gone down a bad road, of drinking, drugs and cheating realises she needs to stop. She decides to find her way back to the real her.

Submitted: April 18, 2009

A A A | A A A

Submitted: April 18, 2009

A A A

A A A


This time I’d gone to far, cheating on my boyfriend. I stared at the sleeping body beside me, Evan was absolutely gorgeous with his messy blonde hair, tanned skin and hazel eyes but I’d made a mistake. I’d never meant to become the girl I had and now I just wanted to go back to being an innocent twelve year old instead of a messed up teenager.
I got out of the bed and carelessly threw on my clothes from last night. I was never going to drink again, never going to wake up in the morning full of regret, and a headache. I stepped over the bottles and cans from last night and walked home. People on the street were staring at me, I was a mess obviously. I could feel my long blonde hair knotting and sticking out like a birds nest. My make-up was probably smudged around my blue eyes, not to mention that my clothes were crinkled and had drink spilt over them. This was not how a seventeen year old should look. I climbed through my bedroom window effortlessly, sometimes I wondered how my parents didn’t know that I snuck out most nights.
Shower, I thought, I need a shower. Kicking aside my dirty clothes and magazines I made my way to the adjoining bathroom. Silently I stepped into the shower and turned on the water. Hot water always cleared my thoughts, it helped me think clearly which is exactly what I needed. I couldn’t live the way I had been anymore parties, alcohol, drugs, and now cheating. I was spindling out of control, and if I didn’t stop I was going to lose everything. Starting today I was going to fix my life, find my way back to me, because me was something I’d lost. Me was something I wanted back.
Smiling, I stepped out of the shower. A mixture of nervousness and joy fought for dominance inside my stomach. Everything was going to change and it was going to hurt.
“Amber?” I sighed hearing my mums voice, I knew what I had to do tell the truth.
“Coming. I have some stuff to say mum.” I called back. I walked out after getting dressed to find my beautiful caring mother sitting at the table. She like me, was blonde though her hair was beginning develop greys, with blue eyes. We both had the same fair skin too, people always comment on our similar looks.
“You look nervous.” My mother commented.
“I am. There’s a whole lot of stuff I have to say to you, can you try not to get angry?” I smiled nervously at my mum who was beginning to look worried.
“What’s wrong Amber?” Mum panicked, I sighed.
“Everything, but I’m going to fix it. I’m going to change, find my way back, to be me again. My life has been spinning out of control, you have no idea how bad its become.” Mum hugged me as I started crying. “I’ve spent all my time partying, getting drunk and doing drugs just to fit in. I don’t want that anymore I just want me. I need to talk to people, fix everything I’ve done starting with James.”
“I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you, I should have realised.” Mum was crying now, I pushed her back softly to look in her eyes.
“It’s not your fault, just mine.” I smiled and left without another word. James lived just down the road, so I walked down. This was going to hurt more then anything, I really loved James and I knew he loved me but I’d promised myself to fix everything. I knocked on the door, instantly regretting it as I hear footsteps.
“Amber.” James answered the door smiling, a smile I couldn’t return. He was over six foot, at least a foot taller then me with dark brown hair and piercing blue eyes. “Come in, my parents are out.”
“James. I have something to tell you.” I said seriously, his face instantly dropped but he beckoned me inside anyway.
“What is it?” He asked, I could see he was nervous.
“I love you.” I said. I still couldn’t smile but he did.
“I love you too.” James leant down to kiss me but I pulled away.
“You wont soon.” I said. “I slept with Evan. I was drunk at a party last night and it’s the worst mistake I’ve ever made. I’ve realised how horrible my life has become how pathetic I‘ve become, I’m fixing it. I had to tell you the truth and that I wont be drinking or doing drugs again. I’m going to clean my act up. I‘m sorry”
“I loved you. I put up with your drinking with your dream of becoming popular because I loved you.” James turned and walked in the other direction leaving me crying in his hall way. I still loved him, more then anything but now he hated me. I turned and stomped out, back home to my bedroom. I yanked open my closet door and started ripping things from their hangers and shelves. Anything short, anything revealing anything tight, it was all going. In the end almost my entire closet was empty, things I’d bought to fit in, to get guys to like me. Why? I already had the most amazing guy but now I’d lost him.
I was a pathetic wreck, everything I loved I ruined. I wiped away my tears and picked up my purple photo album. Opening it, I smiled to see a picture of Kate and I hugging. I missed Kate, she was my only real friend though she hated me now too. I ripped out all the photo’s of myself and the ‘in’ crowd. They weren’t really my friends. I’d always known that I just thought life was better with them but it wasn’t.
Kate. I had to fix my friendship with Kate. I grabbed the keys to my beaten up white Holden Commodore and drove to her house. I knocked at the door, her younger brother David answered. He was short with black curly hair and tanned skin, his eyes though were almost black. I smiled.
“I need to see Kate.” I looked past him to see Kate standing at the top of the stairs. Kate was short with tanned skin and bright green eyes. She smiled at me.
“Amber. What are you doing?” Kate asked running down. I smiled and walked past David who shrugged and left.
“I’ve missed you. I’m sorry for betraying you.” I hugged Kate and she smiled.
“I’ve missed you too. It’s been horrible without you, you’re my best friend.” Kate was crying happily. I laughed.
“Really. I’m so sorry, you will always be my best friend.” I hugged Kate again. She looked down at my clothes, cheap track pants and an oversized tee and smiled.
“I’m glad to see your back to your daggy self.” I laughed and smiled. I wasn’t quite back, but for a day I’d made major process. My loving single mother knew about everything, as did James and now Kate. Slowly I was becoming me, finding my way back to me something I’d thought would be lost forever.
I slept on a mattress beside Kate’s bed that night, neither of us wanting to say goodbye but it was morning now and I had to continue on my quest to find the true Amber Rachel Green. I left Kate’s house happy feeling like I’d found a piece of me. How I ever got by without Kate I don’t know.
When I arrived home, James was there talking to my mother. I froze over when I saw him sitting in my living room.
“Where have you been Amber?” Mum asked angrily.
“I was at Kate’s.” I said smiling, both mum and James smiled at me.
“No parties or alcohol?” Mum asked making sure. I shook my head.
“I told you I’m straining out. I think I’ve finally found my way back to me.” I smiled.
“I came to make sure you were alright.” James said as mum left.
“You still care after everything?” I asked, James smiled.
“I can’t just stop caring about you. I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you, I know it will be hard just stopping everything that you’ve been doing but I’m happy to see the real you back. You’ve been gone for so long.” James said.
“I’m back for good.” I said smiling, James hugged me.
“And I’ll be here for good, just don’t leave again.” I wasn’t going to leave again, I was going to stay me, stay Amber. No matter how hard it gets, I’ll never give up never go back to my old ways. Never.
“I love you James.” I kissed James on the cheek and held him, I was never letting go, ever.


© Copyright 2017 xxxPrincessAmeliaxxx. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

Comments

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Unknown

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Unknown

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

More Young Adult Short Stories