Seventeenth Summer

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
It's funny how you go through your whole life knowing nothing at all, yet continue learning over and over again. Love is the kind of nothing we get ourselves into all the time, and sometimes never get out of.

Submitted: October 14, 2008

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Submitted: October 14, 2008

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I always thought it took years to fall in love...

But there was one summer--my seventeenth summer--that showed me just how wrong I was. You know, it's only when we think we know everything, that we know nothing at all.

Love is the kind of nothing that you learn over and over again,as if each time is the first time. The kind of nothing we get ourselves into all the time, and yet seem blissfully unfamiliar with...

I was sitting invisibly at an outside table somewhere across the world, when I decided to write a letter. For whom I was writing it to, I had no idea and as to which direction the letter was headed, was beyond me. My gaze wandered as I stared out and away into all the possibilities… It was a calm autumn day, and the sun illuminated the golden-orange leaves that fluttered against the trees. They flutteredin the windas if they would never fall... I was all alone, except for the youthful couple happily strolling along hand-in-hand in the distance. I noticed that I had stared right through them after a while, slipping back in time to what I had remembered as the most significant turning point in my life.

As I began writing, I exhaled.

‘Hey! It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"It all started with a summer... You remember, don’t you? I was seventeen…I'll never forget those times; I must've been a handful--Ah, the last years of adolecence!I have to admit, they turned out to be one hell of a ride! (Haha) But now those memories arejust kind of funny, don’t you think? Everything we put up with and got frustrated over, the things we feared, the dreams we had—are all passed us now.It makes me wonder where that leaves us now?The years go by so fast... Just when you think you have control of everything, you end up having to plan something entirely different. Sometimes I have to look back atthe photographstomake surethat everything really happened...

I’m somewhere across the world right now, thinkingof you… And yet I’m too afraid to ask if you ever think of me. It's silly,I know. (Haha)Who would've thought life would bring us here, huh? Life's funny like that, I guess. You couldn't tell us things like thatback then, though... We wouldn't stay around to hear it! Yeah. Young and reckless tend to go hand in hand... Do you ever wonder what things would be like if time never put a gap in between us? Sometimes I wonder . . .

Anyway, it would be nice if I could see you, perhaps even if just for one more time. I hope all is well with you, as I always will...

Fair winds and following seas.”

Once I signed it, I hesitantly continued on the write,

“P.S. I love you."

I sat the pen down alongside the single sheet of paper and stared at each fancily written sentence. Words decorated in script, with loops and twirls… But when it came down to it, those beautiful words were just lesser words that I had wanted to speak years ago… The words I had to give him had fallen away. Right now, some of the words are still falling. I can even hear them breaking, if I listen hard enough. The others are drifting away into misinterpreted phrases, somewhere subconsciously far...

Many years have passed since that seventeenth summer, but I can still remember his face perfectly in my memory. I've been in love ever since. It's funny how you go through your whole life knowing nothing at all, yet continue learning over and over again. Love is the kind of nothing we get ourselves into all the time, and sometimes never get out of.

I neatly folded the letter, but never did I place it in an envelope. Nor did I buy a stampor write an address. My attention drifted from the table and back into the distance, but the couple I had noticed before, was gone. Just as invisibly as I came, I got up and walked off, down the streets of that unfamiliar place... I never go there anymore.

I left his letter on that table somewhere across the world.

I could have re-written it. I could have told him all the things I remembered about him; his eyes, his scent, his voice... The way I can still picture his smile--Or even something as simple as reminding him how amazing he was and still is. I could've gone on to say that it was when I was only seventeen, which I had fallenrecklessly in love with him... And thatit was when I was seventeen, when I started waiting for the day to tell him I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I could have told him a lot of things--but maybe he already knew. The hands of time are always so merciless. One day we were in each others lives and the next--we were gone. I don't know whose fault that is; all I know is that it doesn't matter anymore.

I'msomewhere else acrossthe world right now; the autumn leaves are falling from the branches... I sit and think, and smile. But not a new smile, no--an old one, the one I remember from somewhere years back--years ago, when he was my illogical, irrationalhappiness.You know, that's what I think love is: Illogical, irrational happiness.It's easy to get yourself into things like that when you're only seventeen...

I always used to think it took years to fall in love...

Now I just think it takes years to fall out of it.

Now, of course, I know exactly what I should have said to him...

'I miss the days of summer . .'


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