“What I want to say is that I like everything about you, and there’s nothing I’d change. For me… You’re unique. And every single thing about you, since your smile to your personality, made me fall in love with you.”
And so my heart stopped beating, and it was like the air had disappeared from my lunges and I couldn’t breathe. Have I heard correctly? Did Alex say he was in love with me? A smile was drawn on my face and I wished I could say to him the same words, but I was too in shock to say anything. But the truth was I was absolutely sure I was falling in love with him too.
“You don’t have to say anything, Yasmine, if you don’t feel the same. I just wanted you to know what I feel for you.”
I bounced negatively with my head, feeling his hand caressing my face, and I grabbed it with mine, making us holding each other’s hands, while I was trying to find enough courage to tell him what I felt.
“No, it’s not that. I was just not expecting you to say something like that. Because I… I never thought you felt the same way I do. I love you, Alex. I’m in love with you.”
I never thought I was going to be able to say these words looking at his eyes without feeling the need to look away and I felt better than I thought. It was like I had taken all the weight out of my shoulders, like I had told my heart he was now free and if as by saying it out loud, all the doubts about what I felt for him and what he felt for me had disappeared. And so I smiled like I never smiled before in my life. My smile was full with happiness, my eyes were shinning with joy and my heart, that small little thing in my chest, was beating really fast, full with love.
Alex was smiling and I could see exactly the same emotions in his face. He got his face closer to mine, and with his free hand he traced my face softly, and I closed my eyes, feeling his smooth touch on my skin, and I felt his fingers touching my lips and a weird sensation went all the way through my whole body. When he talked, I felt his breath against my skin and I imagined how close he would be and I opened my eyes as he talked.
“Is there anything you would like to risk doing right now?”
I smiled, and by a moment, smaller than a second, my eyes starred at his perfect lips, and I looked back on his eyes. “Actually, there is one thing…”
We looked at each other’s eyes for a few moments, like we were trying to read the other’s thoughts, and when I smiled and got my face even closer to his, he smiled me back as he understood that I desired him as much as he desired me and his hand pulled my face to his, and I closed my eyes knowing what was going to happen.
You know those seconds that make you shiver with desire and anxiety before a kiss? I will always remember these seconds, as well as all this moment, forever.
I felt his warm breath on my lips, and I felt, through it, the anxiety he was feeling for tasting them. His nose touched mine softly, in a lovely way, and I smiled, happier than I ever was before in my life. And so… It happened. His lips took mine passionately and we kissed like we desired for a long time. The kiss was better than I ever thought. His lips were touching mine gently, and we both took long to get our lips apart every time a new kiss was born, like we wanted to memorize the taste and the humidity of each other’s mouth. The touch of his lips, the way they kissed mine, pressing and tasting them, like they were his own potion for life, like he could touch my soul, was addictive and I found myself wishing that kiss never ended.
During our first kiss, that I would remember forever, I knew I was deeply and truly in love with Alex, and all that I was, my heart, my body, my soul and my mind were no longer mine: now I belonged to him. All that I was was now his. I loved him with all my heart.
Text received from: Alex
Probably you're sleeping, but I can't find a way to fall asleep. Kevin has been mocking at me. He says he never saw me this happy before. Now I'm on my bedroom, and every time I close my eyes, I can feel you here with me, and I can see you clearly. You're smiling and blushing when I say something like "You're beautiful" and you just look... adorable, as always. To tell the truth, I just wanted to let you know that I loved today's afternoon and that I didn't feel this happy for a long time... and it's also been a long time since I felt this way, this happy, for a girl. I wonder how tomorrow will be. If you want me to kiss you by the moment I see you, or if you want to make this a secret until you're not afraid anymore. You're something different, Yasmine Miller.
Sweet dreams. I hope you use my shirt. As you already know... I love you.
Text sent to: Alex
I was almost falling asleep when I received your text. Now I think I won't be able to sleep, and believe me I was having struggles with it. Don't ask me why, when it's obvious that it's because I was thinking about you, about us, about today. I'm wearing your shirt, because I felt a really weird need of having you with me, in this very moment. By feeling your smell, I can almost feel you here, with your arms around me. And, for telling you the truth, I never felt this happy and this in love before either. Do you mind to keep what happened in secret? I don't want you to be mad. It's just... complicated. I really like you, but I don't want to move too fast. But I must tell you, anyway, that I would love to run to your arms tomorrow, by the very first moment our eyes collide, and I would love to kiss you like we kissed this afternoon.
See you tomorrow, Alex. Sleep well. Good night.
P.S. - I bet you thought I was going to forget. I love you, too.
In fact, it was true. I loved him. I was in love with Alex like I never have been in love before in my life. Never a love would mark me as this first love marked me, as no one else would ever mark me as Alex did. In a certain way, I would love him forever, until the end of my life, didn't matter the different paths our lives would take in the future. Because that's what's beautiful about the first love: it's intense, and while it lasts, makes you feel the happiest person in the world and no love will ever make you feel that way, because it won't be longer new. And when it ends, marks and hunts you forever with the memories of how happy you were someday, and how it all ended up fading away. The person that made you fall in love for the first time will as well never be forgotten, because it was that person who stole your heart for the first time, and you will never be sure if you have it back. That is the person you will remember with small daily things: an expression, a smile, a smell, a touch, and obviously... love. And a secret part of you will always keep this question crossing your mind: What if?
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