The Adventures of the Four Asians and a Mexiguar Book 3: The Search for the Mexiguar
Francisco has been kidnapped. That thought raced through everyone’s minds. It was the late 20th century. He was reported MIA during on the job. Andy had seen the car that had taken him, it was easy to track it down. Andy knew his license plate number, because his license plate number was 1234567. Toan used his tracking skills to track down the car. Glenn knew how to stalk and follow people, because he was an assassin. Aaron remembered Francisco’s scent, which was raisins and chocolate, and followed the scent. The only way to find Francisco was through teamwork.
After five days of tracking, research, and hacking the police database, they found the car abandoned in Louisville, Kentucky. They had found a map in the glove compartment with a gun and drugs. The map had a warehouse circled saying Meeting Place. Our dragons were taking a vacation at a spa and they needed to keep a low profile, so they couldn’t get there by dragon. They decided to try to get there by foot, but it was much too far. They soon learned of this thing called “Hitch-hiking”. They found a Lamborghini Aventador with the plate of 4SI4N4EVER on the back (which is impossible because the the maximum digits is seven). The league looked around and found a man named Kesean. He was a dark-skinned, middle-aged man with raggedy clothes. He had a coat hanger curved just right to break into someones car. Toan, Andy, Glenn, Aaron, and Mark knew what they had to do.
“YO CUZ!” yelled Glenn thinking how he talked
“What chu want mang?” asked Kesean.
“You know what we want mang; we want yo coat hanger” Toan said.
“Yeah… Not happenin” answered Kesean.
Toan knew what he had to do to convince him. Toan pointed around the corner of the street
“I know what chu want mang, fried chicken,” said Toan.
“Ye dawg, theres a KFC around the corner, but no one gives money to me,” said Kesean.
Andy replied “Brotha, I see yo booze in your pocket. No wonder no one trusts you.”
“Why are you guys talking like this?” asked Mark
“‘Right cuz, ya got meh; I give ya’ll my clothes hanger for a KFC meal and some Kool-aid. Deal cuz?” said Kesean.
“Ye dawg! How much you want?” answered Glenn
“I want the whole store mang, no problem with dat righ?” said Kesean
Everyone’s jaws except Kesean’s dropped.
“Fo real homey?” asked Andy
“Nah dawg, just the whole menu mang, ten times” replied Kesean.
“Fine, we each pay part of it,” said Mark
“$6058.20 is your total,” said the African-American cashier. Everyone’s jaw dropped
Andy, Toan, Glenn, Aaron, and Mark each paid 1,200 dollars.
“Yo mang, you need $58.20 more,” said the cashier.
“It alright cuz, I got it,” said Kesean giving him 60 dollars.
“WHAT?” exclaimed Glenn angrily. “SCREW MAN, YOU ALREADY GOT DA DOUGH!”
“You got money?” asked Andy.
Kesean replied, “Ye but cuz, listen to this. I wanted the whole menu, I come here everyday and always get the kid’s meal.”
“No refunds,” said the cashier
Glenn yelled“Ugh, when we get it I’m gonna take the freakin chicken and yo goshdarn clothes hanger.”
After a what seemed to be an eternal thirty minute wait, the order was ready.
“Heres your meal and have a nice day,” said another employee.
Five seconds after they got the fried chicken, Kesean licked the whole the ten buckets, so no one could take it.
“NO YOU PORTA-POTTY” yelled Glenn
When they exited the store they saw a clothes hanger stand that was selling clothes hangers. Glenn got so mad, he stole Kesean’s mashed potatoes and gravy and ate it.
“MANG WHY YOU DO DAT” said Kesean
“CUZ YOU ARE A LYING PIECE OF TURD” Glenn said angrily.
Kesean then turned around and saw Toan and Andy munching on some potato wedges and biscuits. Mark was just standing there. Aaron was just standing there, trying to resist the urge to eat because he was on a diet. Then Kesean got on his knees, put his hands on his face, and cried. They then left him taking his clothes hanger.
“May you step on a lego,” Andy murmured to Kesean.
They all went to the Lamborghini Aventador. Andy put the coat hanger down the window and twisted it and it opened. Andy unlocked the car, then Glenn was sitting down, but sitting down on a dirty, poorly clothed Asian man.
“AHHHH” Glenn screamed in a high pitched voice.
“AHHHH” screamed the Asian man in the same high pitched voice.
“AHHHH” screamed Mark sitting on the man’s face then farting.
“What are you doing here?!” questioned Mark
“What are you doing here?” said the Asian man. “This is my car!”
“Ooh, ooh I know this one,” replied Mark. “We were breaking into it.”
“Shut up, he doesn’t need to know that,” said Andy.
“Why are you breaking into my car?” asked the Asian man.
He seemed reliable and Asian, so they told him the whole story of losing Francisco the Mexiguar.
“Well my name is Aaron Vang. I have no gas, so can’t help you there,” said Aaron Vang.
“Hey, that’s my name!” said Aaron Nguyen
Andy and Toan upgraded the car to run on cooking oil, and went to a restaurant to get their cooking oil power the car. On the way, they had found a strange hand fan that seemed special to Toan. Toan took it and went back. When they came back, they saw Aaron Vang hitting on girls.
“Hey baby, there’s a party in my pants, you’re invited,” said Aaron Vang.
Toan cleared his throat and the girls left. Toan filled the tank with oil and Andy started the engine.
“Called shotgun,” said Toan and Glenn at the same time.
“Rock, paper, scissors?” Mark suggested.
Toan and Glenn played, but it ended in a tie. They tried again and there was another tie. Then again. Another tie. On the twentieth game, both of them started to get tired.
“You know every second we wait Francisco might be dying,” said Mark.
“This is pointless,” said Toan. “Let’s just flip a coin.”
“Heads” said Glenn.
“Tails” said Toan.
Toan flipped the coin and something unbelievable happened. The coin fell on the concrete on its edge. Jaws dropped and impatience flared up in everyone’s eyes.
“Mark’s shotgun!” yelled Andy.
“YEAH! IN YO FACES! I DIDN’T EVEN NEED TO TRY!” said Mark
“Let’s go! But first I got us some road trip snacks!” said Toan holding up several bags of chips, candy, and a 12-pack of Red Bull.
They all got in and with a quick vroom vroom of the engine, they took off. After six hours of trying to stay awake, they arrived at a what seemed to be an abandoned warehouse. They knew that there were armed thugs in there. It was time for a signature plan the League that they were so well known for. Making cool entrances and snapping everyone’s neck except their friends. They got on the roof and had ropes set up. They then grabbed some smoke grenades, infrared goggles, and gas masks. They were assigned to different sides of the building—three people on each side. After thirty minutes of preparation of gear, they were ready.
“On three we all jump in,” said Andy. “ One.”
“Two,” answered Toan interruptingly
Everyone put on their infrared goggles and gas masks and readied their smoke grenades and weapons.
“Thr-” Andy started.
“THREE!” Glenn interrupted
They jumped off the building still holding onto the rope, while the rope pulls them into the building. On impact, they broke through the glass and throwing smoke grenades, rolling as they fell on the floor snapping the armed thugs necks. After the smoke cleared up, they saw their long lost Mexiguar with his legs tied up to a chair and hands tied together on his lap. Francisco was slow-clapping with a scowl on his face.
“About time!” yelled Francisco. “I waited two weeks. Now get me out of here!”
“Sorry!” said Mark. “We were buying fried chicken!”
“Well, you’re welcome.” said Toan sarcastically.
“How are we going to all fit in the car.” said Mark
They untied Francisco’s ropes ignoring Mark’s question. Andy had spotted a sofa in the corner and had an idea. They looked around and found a note saying “I’ll pick him up tomorrow. —S” They weren’t going to leave without finding the person responsible for kidnapping Francisco. They decided to stay until the mysterious S came. To pass the time, they played goldfish and gambled on crackers. Toan went all in and lost all his crackers to Mark. Francisco gave Toan a cracker and Toan went all in again. Francisco facepalmed and went to do something else. Mark started to have a stomach ache from winning all the crackers.
Aaron V was being taught by Toan on how to fight. Aaron V was natural. Toan showed him first year’s of training on Toan-Kwon-Do in just two hours. He was also taught the way of Andkido, he finished 1 hour of training in 2 hours. They treated Aaron V like a son. Finally after intense training, they bowed and then all went to sleep. After 1 hour of sleep, they had all woken up at 6:00 am. They were getting ready to fight the mysterious S.
Steven the Platypus
After 2 hours of waiting, the door was opened. Everyone readied their weapons, Mark got his whip out of his bag.
“Where’d you get that?” asked Aaron N. Mark ignored Aaron.
The door opened fully and out came a platypus. Everyone eased up and was relieved. The platypus suddenly got up and said “What the bloody hell happened here, mate?!”
“Crikey my men are dead, mate!” said the mysterious platypus in an Australian accent.
Everyone was surprised to see a bipedal and talking platypus.
“Who are you?” asked Mark dumbly.
“Name’s Steven, mate,” answered Steven. “M’Friends call me Perry… if I had any.”
“Wait a gosh darn minute.” said Aaron N. “ You can talk!”
“No duh Sherlock,” said Steven mockingly.
“Well that’s not very nice!” said Aaron N charging at Steven.
Steven kicked him in the stomach with his poisonous ankle barbs. Aaron’s gut was too big to be poisoned. Instead he felt tickled and giggled as Steven got pushed away.
“Why would you do that?!” said Aaron N. “ I was going to give you a big, warm hug!”
“What are you… mate?” said Steven. “You are so fat!”
“Hey!” Aaron yelled charging with his fist balled.
Steven was too fast and dodged Aaron N effortlessly.
“Why do you hate our Mexiguars so much to kidnap them?!” demanded Glenn.
Steven said,“It’s a sad story, mate. Which I will tell you. It all started one day in me Mama’s den. I had just cracked out of my egg and I was the first of my brothers and sisters. Suddenly an orange, brownish camouflage feline face scoop my brothers and sisters eggs. I watched as a jaguar fed her cubs my siblings. My mum became depressed and committed suicide, leading me to fend for myself. I work with humans, and learned their language and way of movement, I still have my habits of walking on all four.”
“SO SAD!” said Mark. Everyone was sobbing and tearing up.
“Well do you think it was supposed to be happeh, mate?!” exclaimed Steven. “Now what’re you doing here, mate?”
Glenn couldn’t couldn’t resist the joke. “YO MAMA!” Everyone snickered.
Suddenly, Steven’s eyes had a glow of fire, his arms and legs suddenly grew huge— 5 times of what was there before—, and had a six-pack.
“Don’t talk about me mother, mate!” said Steven angrily.
“I’m just kidding man!” said Glenn
Steven had punched Glenn straight in the face, breaking the warehouse wall. They tried to avenge Glenn, even though he was still alive, by charging at him with their weapons. Toan threw four blue-fire stakes at him and tried to stab Steven, but all stakes were broken in half. Steven grabbed Toan, used him like a bat and hit everyone out into the same area where Glenn was knocked to. Toan was then flung the same direction. When they landed they saw Glenn drinking some soda.
“Can I have some?” said Aaron N.
“Crikey mate!” said Mark. “Why the bloody hell weren’t you going to help?!”
“What’s with the accent, mang?” asked Glenn.
“Oh… weird,” replied Mark. “I somehow inherited Steven’s accent.”
“Never mind that, how are we going to fight him?” asked Aaron V.
“AAHHHHHH!” Toan was falling from the sky and landed on Andy.
Andy got up and said,”Guys, I got a plan.”
Toan got his grappling hook and shot the bumper of the Lamborghini and tied it onto the sofa. They got sheets to cover themselves since it was getting cold. They had to do the endless game of rock, paper, scissors to see who would get the front seat. Andy just got tired of the game and announced Aaron V will be sitting in the front. Everyone heard the toilet from inside the warehouse flush then went to go inside the car.
“I’m driving this time, Andy,” said Toan. “You drive like an old lady.”
“You can’t even drive!” said Andy. “ Besides, you never had your license.”
“Neither did you!” said Toan.
“Ugh, fine,” replied Andy
Toan got in front of the wheel, and once everyone was ready, Toan took off. Andy did not like the smelly sofa, and instead he tied a chair on top of the car. They followed Steven’s car and he went to a place called Johnathan’s Ballet Academy of Fabulousness. They followed Steven in and hid in a very dark corner. Regardless of Steven’s fail, a guy with a name tag saying Jonathan F. R., said, “Fabulous ladies, just beautiful, like me." They saw Steven leap around in a tutu and a leotard. A lady did a swan lift with Steven and he fell.
Suddenly Aaron V. came out and started dancing with the ladies in perfect synchronization. Aaron V. seemed to be trying to get close to Steven. Suddenly, when Aaron V. was almost there he saw an pretty Asian girl and started a pick-up line.
“You must be a thief because you stole my heart,” said Aaron V.
“Ooh, confident I see,” replied Asian girl. She had a name tag that said Moon Bloodgood. After a flirtatious conversation, Aaron went back to reality.
“See you tonight,” said Moon in a flirty voice.
“You owe me fifty bucks,” said Toan.
“Dagnabbit!” said Francisco.
“Oy you lot! Vang’s back!” said Mark in his still accented voice.
“Well Steven got away. Sorry.” apologized Aaron V.
“Good job,” said Andy sarcastically.
“At least you got a hot date,” said Glenn.
“That name though,” said Toan. “Sounds evil.”
“Rubbish Toan, you’re just jelly of my skills with the ladies,” said Aaron V.
“I see Steven!” said Aaron N.
They all ran towards the restaurant across the street, it was KFC again. There they found Steven ordering biscuits and mashed potatoes and gravy. Andy kicked down the door dramatically and said, “FBI, GIVE ME SOME CHICKEN.” Steven paid no attention to Andy, and just kept waiting for his items. Andy saw Steven and was thinking of a plan. Suddenly Kesean came in, looked at Andy in the eye and said, “Where’s the chicken at, homie!” Everyone felt an urge to use street language.
“Wassup my brothuh from another mothuh!” exclaimed Francisco.
Kesean looked mad and said, “I never forgave you for what chu done to mah chicken.”
Steven finally noticed the League and ran towards them. Steven punched Glenn, knocking him through the wall. Steven headed towards Toan and Andy. An idea popped into Toan and Andy’s heads. They looked at each other and knew what to do. Toan pulled out a portable hose, and Andy plugged it into the Grape Kool-Aid fountain. At first nothing came out, till Andy noticed he had to press the dispenser bar. All the grape kool-aid rushed out of the hose and Toan aimed it at Steven, the pressure was so high even Toan got pushed back.
It wasn’t enough, so Andy had a piece of chicken in his pocket that he was going to save for later. He threw the chicken breast, golden coated with bread crumbs at Steven, as Steven punched Francisco. Kesean felt an invigorating urge to eat the free piece of chicken. Kesean ran, full force, and tackled Steven eating the chicken and drinking the Kool-Aid off the floor. Seizing the opportunity, the league dogpiled on Steven and Mark sedated him. Before they did anything with Steven, they brainwashed him. They dragged Steven to the post office, put him in a box, and sent him to the jungle from which he came from.
“Oh shoot!” exclaimed Aaron V. “I’ve got me a hot date!” He ripped off his clothes and under there was a deep black tuxedo. Aaron V ran for his Lamborghini.
“Where’d you get the tux man?!” asked Francisco as Aaron V was running.
“Toan taught me some stuff!” answered Aaron getting into his car. “To steal!”
Aaron V. drove off and Aaron N. said, “We gonna spy?”
“Of course,” answered Mark with his accent now gone.
They follow Aaron V. to a fancy restaurant with the name Mcdonald’s. Aaron ordered a Big Mac Combo, and Moon ordered ketchup packets. Everyone was curious why she would order ketchup packets.
“You sure that’s gonna fill you up, honeh?” asked Aaron V.
“No, but you will!” she said kissing Aaron on the neck.
Suddenly Aaron was getting pale and started to sparkle like a diamond. Everyone rushed and Toan stabbed Moon with his stake. Andy stabbed her with a silver spork. She fell and Toan checked her pulse. Nothing.
“NOOOOOO!” said Aaron V.
Aaron looked at the window and saw nothing. He felt his teeth growing sharper into fangs. He skin turned white as snow. A strange thirst for blood filled his mouth. Horror was the look on his face.
“I’m… a…. a vampire,” Aaron V. declared.
“At least we won’t outlive you now,” said Glenn.
“What is that thing outside” exclaimed Andy. “Looks like my adoptive mother.”
“I thought she died,” said Francisco.
“She did,” answered Andy.
The Adventures of the Five Asians and a Mexiguar Book 4: The Undead
© Copyright 2016 ydnAndanaoT. All rights reserved.
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