5 things ladies do that gentlemen love

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Travel  |  House: Booksie Classic
A lordly gentleman's advice for ladies of breeding...

Submitted: January 16, 2014

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Submitted: January 16, 2014

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Five things ladies do that men love

 

1

Getting awfully mangled while doing manly things with a man and shrugging it off as if it was nothing. I was in the Canadian wilderness hunting bears with a Zimbabwean princess just last week. A grizzly savagely clawed her. She simply flung the mangled limb aside and continued undaunted.

I found this truly charming.

It is especially enchanting if you're wearing your tiny little shorts and t-shirt and you're a bit muddy and your hair is tousled with leaves in it, and perhaps the odd earthworm. This is wildly sexy.

 

In a similar incident, I once knew a capital lass who was bitten in half by a bull shark that I was hunting. She said, "It's a mere scratch." Then she cheerfully remarked that she could swim much faster without the weight of all that blood, legs, and intestines. How delightful is a positive attitude in a lady!

 

2

When you get pissed off at an orange coloured, botoxed, breast-implanted barbie doll and you threaten to beat her up. Now we lordly gentlemen would never beat up a lady, since we have a butler to do it for us, but we love to see you show a plastic woman what a real woman's made of. This is enough to make the leisured gentleman bloke smoke rings of appreciation.

 

3

When a worldly gentlemen meets a lady travelling around the world on her own, he is most delighted. This is only valid if you avoided all resorts, tours, and packaged holidays, and hiked your way through the jungle, cutting your own path with a machete. If you were kidnapped by Islamic terrorists, threatened with beheading, and you escaped, bringing with you the severed head of their leader, then bully for you!

 

4

Not living with your parents. If you left home at the age of three, leapt from boxcar to boxcar, then stowed away aboard tramp steamers, and sustained yourself first by cheating in casinos and later as a notorious cat burglar stealing paintings from the Louvre, as I did in primary school, then I say huzzah!

 

5

Number five is too naughty for this medium. But we love to watch you do it to yourselves whilst we enjoy our cigar and whiskey. Cheerio!


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