Hell

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Woman enters Hell

Entering hell. The walls are sweaty with small vents oozing out super heated slow moving orange-yellow burning air. The caverns are narrow and winding. Satan is hovered over his book of souls making comments to someone else. His grotesque face sits on hunched shoulders. He's clothed in formal attire. His hands are old and raggedy, but never letting you forget his is the evil of all evil. A new soul enters hell. The oozing burning air turns lime green in color for a few moments in welcoming the dammed soul. The woman falls into a cell. One side of the cell is the sweaty rock wall of hell. The other three walls are metal bars heated to melt to the touch. The rock wall is covered in burning acid, but that doesn't seem to bother her as much as the fact that this is her place for all of eternity.

No end. Forever.

Even more burning air oozes out, and turns back to the orange-yellow color. The heat is suffocating. The screams and yells in the background torment her consciousness.

This is her. Forever.

This is reality, not a dream. Her flesh begins to melt. Her body is in excruciating pain. Her mind is an spiraling state of utter fright and confusion...all tainted with the thoughts of eternal pain. Without ceasing. Little by little she hears clobbering footsteps approaching. Somehow, more freight manages to fit into her eyes. The air thickens to the point of sewage sludge. Neighboring moans and shrieks fill the winding caverns. Soon a developing brain like creature stands within the confines of her cell. The creature is in the process of development. It grows tentacles from the base of its head. It's a creature of specific pain. With a head resembling a brain with a short stubbly tongue at its base and tentacles acting like legs and arms it awaits for the arrival of the others. More clobbering footsteps arrive from all around. They too are creatures of different types of pains. Each with their own grotesque physical forms. One manages to grow an extending form of dendrites and throws it at her feet. In trying to move away she accidentally touches it and is shocked beyond belief with electric psychopathic tormenting shock waves. She cries out in agonizing unrelenting torment. With multiple different creature of pain moving in on her...she panics...this will be her destiny forever. Each of the creatures take their turn delivering their exhausting hellish torture. At times they take turns and randomly attack all at once. No rhythm nor pattern, they just attack constantly. With no room to run, with no escape she begins her suffering for all eternity. Satan continues to write in his book of souls who's next.


Submitted: November 11, 2014

© Copyright 2021 youseethroughme. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Dani Raines

A very vivid description of what may await in Hell. I like the imagery you presented, particularly the creatures of torment you described in the end. Very creative and well done :)

Tue, November 11th, 2014 11:57pm

Author
Reply

Thank you Dani!

Wed, November 12th, 2014 11:30am

smircle

You're very good at setting a scene, which isn't the easiest thing to do. Your descriptions were vividly described, quite graphic at times, and the way you described the feelings of the woman helped add to the hopelessness of the situation she was in. I'd suggest to maybe break up the last paragraph a little more, as it's quite long and easy to get lost in, and to also possibly vary the length of your sentences (short, choppy ones to create tension/shocking statements (etc.); long, punctuated ones for suspense/panic (etc.)). All in all, a very well written and vivid description of what Hell may very well be like. Good job; keep writing! :)

Sat, November 15th, 2014 12:31am

Author
Reply

This is great feedback. I will try to enter that mental state again so I can make changes.
-YouSeeThroughMe

Tue, November 18th, 2014 8:25am

robzzz

wowww..... CREATURES OF PAIN..... goose bumps top to bottom..... keep up the good work

Thu, June 2nd, 2016 4:19pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, from an honest soul to another.

Thu, June 2nd, 2016 9:38am

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