Desire

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Jules and Jack were once lovers, now she is married but he still enters her thoughts. The thought of his touch, the thought of his lips on hers, her body begins to quiver

Submitted: July 20, 2019

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Submitted: July 20, 2019

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A memory that she had dwelled on time and time again consumed her. She remembered his touch, his eyes staring into hers, his grip on her waist so tightly, his warm breath as he bit her neck that sent shivers down her spine.

She hadn’t seen him in 5 years, her life had become mundane, but that chance encounter made her heart start racing again, the fire in her belly was re-lit and the passion that once existed between them ignited. No words were spoken, but as he moved the hair out of her face and grabbed her by the back of her neck, she knew this was what she needed. His lips on hers, his tongue circling hers, his hips thrusting against hers, she couldn’t stop, she couldn’t breathe, her hand on him, his hard caressing her breast, his other squeezing her tight.

Her hand slip to her pants and undid the button in one swift move, they dropped to her floor, she slid on her underwear, pulled at his pants and turned around to lean on the car. He didn’t hesitate, he thrust himself inside her and which each pump she screamed, moaned, gasped until they reached ecstasy. They stood there for a moment, still intertwined in each other’s bodies, his breathing slow, her heart racing and she turned her face towards his, he kissed her longingly moved himself out of her and turned her body around to face him.

They embraced briefly, but then he pulled back up his trousers above himself and moved to the passengers side to grab a cigarette. She pulled up her panties, rebuttoned her pants and waited for the words she had been longing to hear. To hear him say, “I’ve missed you babe”, to hear how losing her was his biggest regret, that he wouldn’t do it again, he would do whatever he needed to have her back in his life. But as he smoked on that cigarette, scratched his head, and then checked his messages on his phone, she knew he would never utter those words, or anything that could even come close.

 

 

Jack was 30 now, still lived at home with his family, owned his own business, was doing well for himself, had close ties with his family and friends, and had no intention of letting a woman come in and change him. He wasn’t going to marry for love and passion, he was going to marry for comfort, for status, for respect. His wife would be perfectly chosen for the correct qualities and she would be a status of perfection.

Julie on the other hand, was not respectable enough in his eyes. While she had a great job in finance, made enough money to live comfortably, however, she had also become a mother at just 19 out of wedlock and had a child to support. She was not his class.

Julie and Jack had met 10 years ago, when they were just 20 years old, she had a one-year old baby and her boyfriend had just left her for a woman he worked with. She was young, scared, unemployed and felt as if her whole world had come crashing down. Her friends had taken her out to get her out of the house, and that’s when she saw him, strong, dark hair, olive skin, brown eyes that made you weak at the knees, and instantly she felt herself tingle, butterflies in her stomach, heart racing.

It was a whirlwind romance, it happened so quick, every waking moment they spent together, every time they caught their breath they would be moving onto another piece of furniture, they couldn’t get enough of each other. They were young, they were full of energy and hormones, he would touch and caress, and lick and suck every part of her supple body, he would pick her up and hold her against the wall while he thrust himself into her time and time again. She would be dripping wet every time he laid his hands on her, she couldn’t control herself around him and just wanted him over and over again, and when he was worn, his hands and lips would take over until she couldn’t physically go on.

The warmth of his tongue on her, he would always start so gentle, just small probes into her, always grabbing her thighs and breasts and then back to her thighs. He would tease her, use his fingers, use his tongue, then just when her body was about to explode, he would get a second wind and thrust himself inside her and fuck her until she felt like crying.

But as all relationships go, eventually they had to re-enter the world, they couldn’t hide behind their door anymore.

They were great together, they would go out with friends, they would go out for dinners and drinks and coffees and the passion between them was obvious to everyone around them, they were like magnets to each other, they would sneak off to the bathroom, where he would turn her around towards the door, without even lifting up her dress he would move her panties to the side and fuck her, it excited her so much when she couldn’t scream, her fingertips would dig into the wall until her nails chipped and broke, he would pound against her while she moved her hips side to side to make sure he reached ever inch of her, he would also hold her so tight, they moved as if they were one.

After their night outs, they would always find they couldn’t make it home and end up stopping somewhere dark, she would always start by rubbing him while he drove until he had to pull over, by then she had already unbuttoned and exposed him, her hair would already be pulled over to one side and as soon as he put the car in park, before the car was even switched up, her lips would be around him, tongue pushed hard against him, right back into her throat, tasting ever part of him. Sometimes he would lean back in his seat while she sucked him long, hard, fast, slow, and he would watch her until his whole body shook, other times he would reach over and slip his hand down her pants until she was shaking that her throat would be retracting deep around him, this one always sent him over the edge quickly, her body shaking while she sucked his cock was enough to make any man weak at the knees in moments. Other nights she would jump straight on top of him and bend her legs between the door and centre console and just grind him, up.. down.. around.. hard, fast, slow, deep, just the tip, it didn’t matter what she did she could always find that spot on his cock that made her back arch and body shake. It was as if his cock was made for her, he would kiss her, tongues entwined, car steaming up until you couldn’t see in, he loved to fuck her.

 

 

As relationships go, this turned out not to be a very conventional one, he never asked her to meet his parents, when she had asked he had made excuses, and after 8 months she realised he had no intention of making this a serious relationship. Although they were always together, they were monogamous with each other and there was true love in their hearts for one another, something was holding him back. They were always at her house, she had only ever been to his once when his parents were out of town, and they had almost been together a whole year.

She decided to ask him, and his words were like razor blades cutting into her skin, slowly.. deeply, right to the veins. “Why would you meet them if I have no intention of ever marrying you?”

Her head was spinning, any following words he may have said drowned out by her heart racing. She thought back, they were a couple, they were in love, they were perfect for each other.. but he had never spoken of their future together, never made plans, never suggested their romance would ever be anything more.

How did she miss the signs? How could she be so stupid? But if he loves her, and she loves him??? Why?? “Because you have a child to someone else, you could never mother my children.”

So vividly as if it happened just moments ago, she remembers slipping her shoes back on, grabbing her jacket and purse, reaching for her keys and phone on the bench and walking out the door of her own home. She jumped in the car and drove, and drove until she pulled over 30 minutes out of town on the side of the road and cried and cried. Hours could have passed and she would have had no concept of time. She eventually made it into the driveway of her home, opened the door to find all the lights off, and the house empty. No letter on the bench, no messages on her phone. She walked up the stairs to her room, listed up her duvet and laid underneath. Sleep evaded her, tears drenched her pillows, her eyes stung, her heart bled, her stomach tightened. Soon it was morning.

The doorbell rang with her ex returning her child, she held her so close and vowed to not let her heart get broken again, to find it ridiculous that someone could not want this child in their life, to not want her. She filled her days with her daughter and friends and family and decided to go back to school and better herself. But nights were long, nights were lonely, she couldn’t stop thinking about him.

Couldn’t time change his mind?

 

 

She rang him a few weeks later and within moments they were back to their old routine, he would lay her on bed and make her want him with ever fibre in her body, back aching, tears welling, her body screaming for him to enter her. He would grind up against her, ripping off her clothes and kissing ever inch of her body until she couldn’t take it anymore and would put her hands around his buttocks and force him into her. She would push him until he was on his back and straddle him, riding him, thighs against his sides, toes curling in pleasure, her body would dip to let her kiss his lips then Jules would sit right back up so he was so deep in her and she would move back and forth, around, then kiss him again and back up. She would be dripping wet around him, she would lean back so he could see her breasts bouncing, herself going up and down his shaft, her hair out waving around her, her teeth biting her lips, with him, she felt so comfortable, so damn sexy, so much confidence, all her flaws her sexy to him, the extra skin would be grips for his hands, she was a goddess to him. He was a beast to her, and she loved every second of it.

That night they didn’t speak of what had happened, they cuddled on the couch, watched a movie, and she fell asleep on his chest. He left around 2 to go home and she wandered up to bed confident, empowered, and determined.

She was going to spend the rest of her life with him. They were soul mates. She knew it in her heart.

Fast forward a few months and life for her with Jack was genuine bliss. They were best friends, they hung out, dated, loved, the passion was still burning bright and they were still inseparable. However, she was still just a mistress to his life. She would subtly bring it up in conversations, and each time he would deflect so charmingly she was back at square one.

1 year passes, 2 years pass, 3 years pass, 4 years pass, 5 years pass. Nothing has changed, there is still no sign of commitment, still no meeting of families or long-term plans and her daughter isn’t a baby anymore that she can pretend Jack is just a family friend.

Why did she go through all this? She could have walked away, and no one understands why she would stay, why she would put herself through this, why she didn’t have enough self worth. But love can’t be explained, when you find someone who motivates you to be better, who stares into your soul and loves you in return, although its not conventional, sometimes people just cant let go and they will make up every excuse in the world of why they think its right, will change, can’t leave. It’s like a drug.

 

 

Jules kept thinking she could change him, Jules kept thinking just a bit more time, were still young, he will come around. But he didn’t. He still never spoke of the future. He still never considered her in her plans. He loved her, but he was never going to settle down with her. She was a fill in, until he was old enough, until he had enough money to buy a house and find Mrs right.

Yes he loved her, yes he longed for her and just the thought of her would make him hard, he loved being with her, but she wasn’t the right calibre, she wasn’t his class, he couldn’t even imagine it, well he could, but he wouldn’t. What Jules lacked in self respect not to leave all those years ago, Jack had strength in his will and pride. He was not going to give in. No time would change that. Not even 5 years of perfection.

Jack had no reason to leave, he truly loved Jules, she was always there for him, he had a companion, he wasn’t lonely, they could go out and have fun, or stay home and relax, he could fuck her for hours or sit back as she rode him. And there was no future commitment. She was the overwhelming, exhilarating drug he could give up when he wanted to.

After 5 and a half years together, one-night Jules wakes up in the middle of the night and sees him sleeping next to her, nestled in her arms, she looks at him and tears fall from her cheeks. She knows tonight will be goodbye, she knows she won’t see him again after this. She takes his phone, she deletes her number, she deletes their photos and messages, and she holds him close. One last time she runs her hands down his body and kisses his neck, she holds him in her hand and rubs up and down his shaft until he awakes, aroused, she takes off her night shirt, slides her panties off and kisses him with more passion then she has ever felt. She bounces on top of him, harder and harder and harder, his eyes still closed, his face contorted in pleasure, his hands on her hips holding her down on him until they cum together. She doesn’t get off, but lays on his chest, still as one, as whispers goodbye. He hears this, but doesn’t respond, he kisses her cheek, he knows its goodbye. They fall back asleep and sometime in the early hours he slips out of her arms, kisses her one last time on her head, and walks out the door.

 

 

Jules passes her days with her daughter and her new job and studying, her new group of friends and although she still sees him every time she closes her eyes, there’s peace and a smile, not anger and heartbreak. A few more months and she meets Shane. He is tall, handsome, dark hair, hazel eyes, strong, a protector, a supporter, a father. It’s instant family. There’s dates and butterflies and small kisses and friendship and comfort. The feeling of home. Jules and Shane are a perfect match, similar interests, they don’t fight, they have the same ideals, wants, goals, and plan their future together.

But there is no intimacy. No passion. No fire. Her wedding night, her honeymoon, no screams of ecstasy, no scratching on his back, no hands on her neck, her thighs, her waist. Its quick, its gentle, its nice, but its not Jack.

Their days are happy, they fit in so well into each other’s lives, they compromise on everything, they support each other, but their nights are of him turning over and sleeping, and her longing to fucked so hard it hurts. To be turned over and have every inch of her caressed and kissed and his tongue inside her hot and warm, she dreams of this, she tries to image Shane doing this to her, but his face always morphs back into Jacks, and then after only a moment, she releases, quietly, with a few tear drops of shame, and falls asleep.

Shane is an incredible man; he is kind and loving and caring. He is never selfish and always puts Jules first, she couldn’t have asked for a better life, a better husband to spend the rest of her life with, a better partner, but at night, when she sleeps, its always Jacks face she sees.

Why can’t she let him go? Why are his memories still the ones she reminisces about? He is gone. Shane is here. He didn’t want her. Shane wants her. He didn’t value her. Shane does. Why can’t she forget him after 5 long years?

Jules decides to take a holiday and clear her mind, rejuvenate, refresh her senses. She heads to a motel with the kids and leaves Shane at home. She has such a wonderful time getting back in touch with herself, but she realises, she isn’t missing Shane. She isn’t longing for Shane. She wakes up at 5 in the morning and it’s not Shane she has dreamt about, it’s not Shane that made her not want to wake, that she was imagining was fucking her so hard, it was Jack. Before she knew it, before she could think it through, she has already sent him a message asking if they could meet. Within seconds he replied yes.

 

 

The week goes past in a blur, its almost time, she can think of little else but seeing him. The thought of him consumes her so much that she is barely present when spoken to. She’s home now from her trip and counting down the hours, imagining him pulling her into her arms, holding her, she doesn’t imagine the conversation, just the actions.

 She knows the minute she sees him that she will want to pull him close as she used to, immediately she feels herself tingle, she feels herself yearning for her, her loins quivering. She places her hands on her breasts, and lets her hands slide down her body, she knows just how wet she is, how thirsty, how hungry for him, she slides her hand down her pants, the other caressing her breast and gently pinching her nipples one at a time watching how hard they hard, how aroused they are, reminiscing on her birthday 6 years ago after they had a huge public fight and he promised her that if they were together one more year he would commit to her and do everything right, when she heard her dreams coming true and on a park bench on the way back to the hotel she pushed him down and straddled him and rubbed herself against him, kissing him so passionately that he picked her up and took her back to the room where they didn’t even make it to the bed but he had her up against a wall, fucking her brains out, harder harder harder, consumed on alcohol so it went longer and deeper and there was no pain, just pure pleasure, orgasm after orgasm she had never come so hard.

She finally had him in her grasp. This memory was hers to hold onto forever and she savoured every moment of it. Each neck bite, each grasp, each heavy breath in her ear, each moan. The sun came up too soon, the checkout too early, and the memories of the previous night etched in her brain.

As Jules moans and brings herself back to reality, like usual the tears come when she remembers the following day, when Jack tells her it was just the alcohol talking that nothing is different, and he said it in the heat of the moment. Her heart bleeds again.

 

 

7:00 comes and she is almost at his house almost an hour away from hers, its been 5 years since she had driven out to this neighbourhood but her senses are heightened, everything bringing back overwhelming memories, the roads the same, but houses turned apartments, the park where they would sit and chat for hours catches her attention and as she pulls in to catch her breath, calm down her nerves she allows herself to think of Shane and the kids at home. She looks down at the steering wheel, her hand holding it tight, her wedding ring glistening under the streetlamp. She lights up a cigarette, she feels ridiculous, its been 5 years, what the hell is she doing here??

‘Jules you stupid girl, you have it all, you have a beautiful family and home, 2 wonderful children, and husband who lives purely for your happiness and works so fucking hard to take care of you all. You go without nothing; you are a spoilt ungrateful bitch for even considering this!’

As Jules extinguishes the cigarette in the car’s ashtray, she decides to go home. She pulls out of the parking spot overlooking the park, she knows she has to go home. But she doesn’t. She drives to the front of his house, 2 blocks down and as she pulls up, she knows she is going through it.

She seems his shadow through the window, instantly knowing its him and her heart starts to race, she sends him a message letting him know she is out the front and in a few short minutes he is standing in front of her car, jumps in, and its like no time has passed between them.

No awkwardness, no stumbling for conversation, all her nerves and anxiety had disappeared. Nothing but excitement and longing remained. She knew tonight she was going to have him.

They went for coffee, but both knew they needed to leave, they drove around barely, and before they had even thought it through they were pulled over in each other’s embrace.

 

 

As she waited for the “I miss you babe” that she knew was never going to come, she jumped in the car and lit up a cigarette. She was quiet, hoping a few more minutes he would say it, and then she spoke, “let me get you home.”

They talked and drove home like normal, she pulled up the front and he kissed her and got out. No other words, no message on her phone when she got home.

She remembers just 8 months into their relationship when he said if will never be her. She knows it will never be her. But what if she can have the cake and eat it too. Be with her beautiful family and have a loving home but have him on the side to take care of her desires.

Or what if she looses everything.

 

 


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