I Loved You For So Long......

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
A small letter that I wrote to a special someone that I loved ever since we first met and now I want to get over him.

Submitted: December 05, 2011

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Submitted: December 05, 2011

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Ever since I met you back then I’ve always loved you, unknowingly

 Ever since the day I realized that I was never going to see you on the same playground anymore.

When I realized that I liked having you around me, I felt empty when you went to high school I missed all those days you spoiled me with your attention.

When I saw you yet again you changed, you weren’t that boy anymore but a man that was focused with school and other projects. 

I loved you silently in my heart hoping you would remember me and only me. When the day arrived when you did acknowledge me I felt relief and joy that the person I missed so long finally noticed me again.

And yet again I was spoiled with your attention that I silently enjoyed.

 Many words of ‘love’ were thrown at me whenever you were gone by friends who noticed. I denied it because there was no way that you could ever love me back and that my feelings were only one sided.

Each day was a surprise filled with love and affection I loved and waited for

My heart was so happy yet I wanted more, more than a hug, more than unexpectedly holding my hand

Those little things slowly opened my heart up to what you really meant to me

You were my first long crush, an irreplaceable friend, someone who I could see every day and always make me smile throughout the whole day

But as graduation came closer you and I barely spent any time together

It was time to be apart again and I couldn’t believe that you were going away from me once again

I wanted to be happy because you were going out in the world to better it in your own way

But inside I didn’t want you to leave so early, I wanted to be with you for another year

But that’s selfish of me, because you aren’t mine to have

You might belong to someone else and that made me even sadder

But I had to smile for your sake and keep the lid from ever opening because I wanted you to be happy

We meet on several occasions and each time I wanted to tell you my feelings but the words wouldn’t come

I get embarrassed and unsure that I keep quiet until you bring me to life with your jokes and laugh

By then it’s time to be apart again and I regret such foolish feelings that kept me from talking to you that I want to see you again to make for it

But those wishes were in vain and then when it was my turn to graduate you came up to me and congratulated me and gave me one last hug

I felt like crying because then I knew that we were going on different paths in life only to meet once in a while

When you let go I wanted to tell you how I felt but again the words wouldn’t come out

You just smiled and hugged me again and left me for the final time

It was then that I buried you deep in my heart keeping you close yet far

Something to remember when I feel alone

All those memories I have in my heart overwhelms me and I smile at the small things you did to make me smile:

Singing “Bleeding Love”, popping out to hold my hand, giving me hugs, calling my name out when you saw me, running over to talk to me, teasing me about holding your hand, even that nice surprise when you kissed me on my check I loved it all.

Even if was just for fun, I don’t forget it not matter how much time has passed and no matter who we end up with I’m grateful that I had you to myself even for a fraction of my life. 


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