My Struggles impose pain but My positive thoughts heal the wounds

MY POSITIVE THOUGHTS KEEPed ME ALIVE WHILE MY LIFE OF STRUGGLES TRIEd TO IMPOSE PAIN

A feeling i couldnt explore, life overwhelmed my shoulders i believed

Academically deprived so as my anxious evoked

Willingness to live matter not anymore

Indeed "an empty vessel makes much noise"

As my vacant stomach grumbled with hunger

The ruptured core of my soul was bleeding

Imposed was a pressure on my tear glands

Yet all was hidden from the eyes of others

Covered by a lame smile

Confusion was a current roaming around the circurt of my brain

Choices i made fell in the ventricle of my uncounsciousness

Then was forced to ask "what is it that i'm doing wrong?"

No one could see i suppose

Stronger was i trying to get everyday though wasnt easy

With my invested faith i bowed, humbled myself

In my corner I shouted my Lord

It wasnt just an ordinary prayer

I could imagine Him, me and only us in that space

It was my first time feeling so humbled before Him

Words just came out by themselves

Tears proved my sincerely

"Lord..." stream of tears broke down

In my hand picture of my mother

All was i asking for was light towards not better life but towards His will for me

Darkness was on my side

All i had was His name  and my mom's picture

How could a person be so lonely with crowed around?

A friend asked "could you lend me R200 you'll get it back next week"

Slightly laughed cause didnt even had R5

Shocked was he "And how do you survive?"

That was a good question

I felt ready to give an answer cause its been years surviving

"As long as i breath...I laugh and smile I do survive" proudly said

My psyche was begining to generate positive thoughts

Though life was still in fracture