How to Juggle Pies

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
This article describes how to master the ancient art of pie-juggling.

Submitted: March 04, 2010

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Submitted: March 04, 2010

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There's an art to juggling. There's some serious skill to juggling pies.

First, you must get the right kind of pies. Apple is too dense and too heavy. Chocolate or key lime work best. Aside from apple, most pies will work. So the best thing is to just pick your favorite-after all, you have to eat it afterwards, right? Whatever type you choose, get a bunch of them.

Why? Because, not everyone is a juggling expert. And even if you can juggle balls, pies and balls are two totally different things. So the ability to juggle balls does not automatically give you the ability to juggle pies. Therefore, odds are, you're going to mess up a one or two (or 183, like me) times.

Then, get a wide open space. The last thing you want to have to concentrate on while you're trying to juggle pies is scraping the cherry mess off of some unfortunate onlooker's face. So get about a ten feet diameter around you, and tell anyone even that close to look out for flying pies.

Start with one. Throw one pie in the air with your right hand (left if you're left-handed) and catch it with your left (right if you're left-handed). Did you drop it? That's okay as long as you didn't get pie on this computer screen. Then you wouldn't know what to do next.

Here's what to do next: once you've mastered one pie, try two. Can you successfully juggle two pies in two hands without stopping or dropping them to the point where you have to head to the market for more pies? Good, then you can move to three pies...some real juggling.

This is going to take time. It took me weeks, but  I have the hand-eye coordination of a muffin, so as long as you're reduced to days and not weeks, you'll have this down in no time. Three balls (or pies, for that matter) is considered real juggling, but if you want to go for more, all power to you. Good luck!

WARNING: MAXIMUM PIE JUGGLING CAPACITY NUMBER IS 10. JUGGLING MORE THAN 10 PIES AT A TIME WILL RESULT IN WASTE OF VALUABLE DESSERTS, NOT TO MENTION SERIOUS PIE-IN-THE-FACE CLEAN UP ISSUES.

IDEAS: When you're feeling frustrated, like you could never, ever juggle another pie again, eat one. It makes you feel a lot better, trust me.

*I hope you succeed in your pie-juggling efforts, but I make no promises. Pie juggling is not for everyone.*

Kind of like...me.

TIP: Do not attempt pie-juggling if you have the hand-eye coordination of a muffin.

Trust me, it does not work out.


© Copyright 2018 Zoe McDuff. All rights reserved.

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