A False Sense of Love

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
A friend of mine wrote one so I figured if he had the guts to, I should.

Submitted: February 09, 2012

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Submitted: February 09, 2012

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A False Sense of Love

An account of my terrible love life

It was Freshman year; at least that’s what I think. A brand new start. New school. New teachers. New everything. I had just recently broken up with my girlfriend of sixteen months and was ready to start fresh with a new girl. It didn’t take me long to find the one.

I had known her since middle school but never felt ‘that’ way about her before. She was a stout, cheery, optimistic young girl. I had gotten off to a light friendship with her back in middle school and I thought why not try to go further this year.

We started off with a few “hellos” in the halls. A smile. A wink. I’d get off any form of greeting to her. A few weeks later, we began to chat a bit. Just something simple like “how are you,” “how’s your day,” “how’s school.” Just the usual. Our relationship was shooting off just like I planned.

It was barely a month after that that we began to get into conversations. We’d talk in the one class we had together or in between periods. Anything that came up we’d talk about. School, parents, other kids, food, shopping even. I’d talk about it with her. I knew my goal was close and so was Valentines’ Day.

Over the next week we grew closer than we had ever in a short time. We chatted on Facebook every time we were both on. Everything seemed to be going great and dandy. We even made each other cheap rubber band friendship bracelets. My name and her name on the same band. I smiled as I eagerly worked on it just a week before Valentines’ Day.

I spent the next few weeks planning. Plotting my next move on Valentines’ Day. I had gotten an email from the Senior class saying they were selling valentines and roses that could be sent to anyone. I couldn’t think of any better way than a sweet message and a rose that said “I Love You” to ask her out.

On February 12th, a senior came to my lunch table asking if anyone wanted to give out a rose and a message to someone. I gladly said I would and was given a heart shaped piece of paper with a “to:”, “from:” and “message:”. I thought several minutes about what I wanted to write and eventually decided:

Dear *****,

It’s been a while since I met you. We’ve had a ton of laughs together. A ton of smiles together. And a lot of good memories. I just thought I’d tell you after so long how I feel. I love you, and I would give up the world for you.

Satisfied with my message, I finished with a small heart at the end with an arrow through it. I smiled at my work and handed it over to the senior along with $2. Now all I could do was hope. Hope and believe in our deep relationship.

February 14th came swifter than any holiday. The school seemed to be flowing with an aura of romance. I saw a lot of people receiving chocolates or rose bouquets as I walked to my first period class. A small smirk came over myself as I began to imagine her face when she would get it next period. My heart began to race thinking of all the possibilities.

The periods past and I got to fourth period. I would see her next period and talk to her about it. I thought about what I would do when she said “yes”. Embrace each other? Too embarrassing in public. Kiss? A bit too soon. Smile and just hug quickly? Too cheesy. All these ran though my mind as my mood lightened. Today would be the greatest day of my life.

Before fourth period ended, a friend of mine came up to me and asked if I sent a valentine to anyone. I said I did. He asked who and I said who do you think? He thought for a second and asked if it was *****. I nodded happily but his faced remained cold. I stopped and looked him in the eyes as he told me what he saw in his second period class. The valentine was handed to her with the rose and he saw her smile briefly. She skimmed the heart message up and down several times until her face froze in a frown. All happiness faded from her at that moment. And as my friend described, “She was happy for the message, till she saw my name written on it.

He told me she left the period several minutes later drowning in tears. I didn’t understand what was wrong. I was enraged yet worried at the same time. Viciously my two halves fought over dominance. It killed me inside and I felt my heart shatter. I saw her at lunch with her friends huddled around. I wanted to go talk to her, but her friends gave me strange glares. So I sat alone and ate my sandwich never turning back again.

I went home and went on Facebook. Instantly I got a notification that signaled I had a message in my inbox. I clicked on it and it was a message from her. I hesitated, but my curiosity drew me to read it.

Dear Aaron,

I meant no offense in my actions. I was expecting a valentine from someone else. Don’t talk to me anymore. I don’t want to hurt anymore. I’m sorry.

I sat there silently reading the message again and again. Tears began to run down my cheeks. I searched her name in the search bar but she never came up. Nor would Facebook allow me to reply to her. I knew she blocked me then and there. My heart began to ache and I didn’t know why. “Bullshit.” I murmured to myself.


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