braniff Profile

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Location: United States

Member Since: May 2009

Open for read requests: Yes

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Hi! This is my new happy bio. my novel here is really an exploration of mid-life crisis. How did this come to pass? Well, I was influenced by the literary works of 'catcher in the rye' by salinger and 'cats cradle' by Kurt Vonnegut and 'choir boys' by joseph wambaugh. For music i grew up on pink floyd. Movies? i still like the romantic 'its a wonderful life' and 'breakfast club'. So, i decided to throw all of this together in my first novel attempt. I took the innocence from catcher, the sarcasm from cats, the dialogue-realism from choir, the midlife crisis from floyd, the questioning of purpose from wonderful-life and the exploration of identity from breakfast. i mixed this all together and added 1 part vodka and 1 part kahlua some. It read very disjointed and harsh especially near the end. It was very cathartic to write though, and after i added some nestle quick chocolate syrup I think its very unique tasting.

About me? Ok, 10 facts:

1 i have a fondness for Gary Gyjax and first edition. they screwed you Gary! may god forgive them for they know not what they do.

2 i read all the spellsinger novels. its true. i still dream about jontom and clothahump. a turtle wizard and lots of weed to get high on? wicked!

3 i have a certification in oracle and a degree in cumputer design, but wonder if i shouldnt have gone into medicine instead. just the other day i went to download the latest jdbc driver from oracle, and they made me click 'i promise not to use this code to create biological weapons of mass destruction' wtf? i mean i knew that larry ellison was evil, but was oracle products really so badass that i could use a jdbc driver to create armageddon? what i'm trying to say is: coding is not very rewarding after the cheap thrills wear off, so all you kids consider taking programming OFF your resume.

4 i want to take steroids, but am too lazy to find a dealer. if i ever get a terminal disease I'm going to go out HUGE. like if the doc says i got 6 months due to brain cancer, then like inject me with horse steroids and point me to the gym!

5 my daughter plays awesome recorder. she intuitively does vibrato. very impressive!

6 i once had an Otrivin addiction, and even now, the sweet sweet memory of lying on my back and letting the Otrivin drip into my nose gives me the cravings like a junkie strung out on smack. be ware kids! its a bad bad thing otrivin!

7 i got fired from burger king when i was 16 for getting in an egg throwing fight. i dont remember who won, certainly not the restaurant or the cars

8 i suck at proof theory actually, and only know the travelling salesman problem is polynomial something. I kind of remember really enjoying proof theory in 3rd year but its a blur, in chapter 4 i am mostly making s&*t up. I'm a fraud. BUT, the mp3 i just now attached to chapter 1 of my novel had all the tracks played by me, please take a listen, i really like the idea of music while you read.

9 As a child i was knocked off a cliff by mountain goats (i was climbing up to their lofty perch to take a picture, the ungrateful bastards. to this day i eat meat)

10 i am a world champion at reversi (aka othello) according to yahoo games. it happened after a university job where they had nothing ready for me to code so I ended playing the only game on the windows for workgroup OS. If only mindsweeper had been out at the time. curse you bill.

that should be plenty to incriminate myself


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