For those of you who have read and enjoyed my stories, I thank you and I am humbled by you.
However, I wrote most of this when I was younger and still idealistic about love and life and had no damn idea how to write any of it down succintly. Not that age has brought me any wisdom - au contraire, I have only come to one realisation and that is...I need to write what I know, because that is the best kind of writing. Most of what I have written has been from the perspective of a white, teenage girl who fits into the cliche of: low self-esteem, dorky, but still in a relationship with a beautiful boy who sees her for her "beautiful personality".
But, and here is what may (or may not) shock you (that is, if you're still reading this, and I doubt that you are)...I am not a teenaged white girl who has relationship issues with the hottest guy in school. And there are MORE THAN ENOUGH stories about teenaged white girls with relationship/self esteem issues, and I will NO LONGER be adding to that list. I was struggling with a lot of issues when I was a regular on this site, and that included not feeling accepted by my peers (who were, incidentally, teenage white girls). I guess writing these stories was my way of finally fitting in, of finally being the girl who is the protagonist of every novel, every TV show, every movie, the girl who is represented in magazines and media in general.
The truth in all its ugliness is...that I cannot and will not ever be a teenage white girl. My experiences and my reality will never conform to the typical teenage white girl experience. And there is nothing wrong with either of those things. But I feel that my writing should finally express who I am and where I've been.
If you've stuck with this (and me) so far, I want to thank you once again for your support and kindness, and I am extremely sorry for those of you who enjoyed these stories, but I will be taking them all down now.
Lastly, I want you all to know that in the quest for self discovery it can be so easy to write about your fantasies and what you want from life. Those things come naturally. But the best kind of writing is the kind that is the hardest to write. I feel like someone wise said that, but I really can't remember who.
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