Book / Mystery and Crime
Short Story / Science Fiction
Short Story / Mystery and Crime
Right, I have no idea how to do this. No idea at all. But I suppose I should put something here. Well, this is that something :)
-----An Interview With Devilbrother-----
Danny --- Hey, my name is Danny and I have been summond from the darkest depths of an emptying skull to interview a very special someone. Come on in here, buddy! (Applause. Lots of it, and all of it sincere and heart filled.)
Danny --- Hey! Thanks everybody, thanks me.
Danny --- No problem dude, and might I say your looking absolutely... Well, I'm gunna stop that sentence now. (It was meant as a joke, but nobody laughed.) So, I'll start this interview by asking about you. Your internet name is Devilbrother, correct? I know it is. Why on earth would you choose such an unfathomably offensive username?!?!
Danny --- Well, I cant actually remember why I use that name. Its not meant to be offensive, really! Its just something that exists. But I just want to say I dont hate christians. I promise!
Danny --- Hmmm. Thats great. So, your a 15 year old boy with way to much free time and an unhealthy love of video games?
Danny --- Well, I wouldent put it like that, but-
Danny --- I agree. Now, enough of you. We are all bored of you. On to your work, your writings.
Danny --- I'd be happy to talk about it, but I was under the impression that we would be talking about a lot more. You know, my favourite books, what I like on T.V, maybe even my hobbies?
Danny --- Shut up. You write these stories because you like to tap letters on a keyboard and you aren't good enough to give them to a publisher.
Danny --- Yes, I suppose so. The thing is, while I am proud of what I write, I'm certainly no Patrick Ness. (By the way, read his stuff. Its good. And dont say you dont have time, I know thats not true. If you have time to read this, I think its pretty clear you have time to read that. Probably. Even if you dont, you should. Or something.) I love to write, and I hope that if I practise, eventually I could be that good. It's just a sad fact that at the moment, im not :(
Danny --- Well, thats pathetic. So, im running out of things to ask. It turns out your not actually that interesting a person, and I might have to end the interview prematurely. Perhaps I can fill some time in by talking to Jack for a while.
Danny --- Jack?
Danny --- Yea, the Ripper. He's a cool dude, really, its just the press like to grab onto the bad things, you know?
Danny --- Its a shame, isn't it.
Danny --- It truly is. Now go away and think about how thunderously silly you look right now. I mean, interviewing yourself? How lonely are you!?!
(Danny stood up, then. Tears fell from his eyes, rolling down his cheeks and salting the floor. The audience shook their heads in dismay. They knew him, all in their own way. Some where his anger, some his pain, one was even that little voice in the back of his mind that told him nothing was real, that he was Neo and that only he could save mankind. But even that, the faceless member of the audience that would always stick to the back of his skill, hated Danny right then...)
Well that was a thing.
A very odd thing.
I'm just going to go away now.
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