Short Story / Humor
Short Story / Literary Fiction
Poem / Humor
My name is. I am feet tall. My hair is a color.
...don't get worked up. That's about as cryptic as I get. Other than the occasional poorly painted shroud of mystery I put up on the internet, I'm a pretty straightforward person. I live in a no-nonsense world...sure, it has no connection to the one from which you are currently reading this, but then, can any two people truly live in the same universe?
It doesn't seem fair that you should be deprived of any personal information about me, simply because there's a one-in-a-million chance you might be a crazy psycho killer. So here are some facts that I can impart to you with impunity:
My favorite color is pink.
My two cats' names are made up, and my dog's name is Bilbo.
I like cheese. The sharper, the better.
My characters control me. For example, one day I'm minding my own business, reading a collection of Grimm's Fairy Tales, when a wizened old warlock pops into my mind, mutters "this'll do," and plops down his weathered carpet-bag in the middle of my thalamus. True story.
I think the stuff I write is really good. Even when it's not. I have to keep my self esteem going, because a writer without an ego is like a cat without a...cat.
I am a pack rat. I enjoy anything out of the ordinary, and my room is filled with an array of knicknacks that I call my Tchotchkie Collection.
I am terrible at spelling Russian words and speak Spanish rather poorly but with a good accent.
Neil Gaiman is my idol. I worship him on a daily basis. He has not yet been smashed by Christian Conquistadores.
I like to share things. Ideas, books, opinions, books, YouTube videos, my thoughts, books...sharing is caring.
In real life I am loud, assertive and politically active. You probably wouldn't like me.
It now occur'st to me, by my fay,
That I have nothing more to say
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