Elias Zapple

Elias Zapple Profile


Elias Zapple

Location: London, United Kingdom

Member Since: September 2013

Open for read requests: Yes

Profile Information

Elias Zapple was not born in 1922, as some would have you believe. His date of birth is not really relevant anyway. What is relevant is that he arose out of a tulip that was growing in some old granny's garden in Camberwell. How he got to be in a tulip is not really clear, nor is it clear how he got out of the tulip, and years later wrote the smash hit musical, 'Love, be a Stranger', which was an international flop.

After that success, he went on to work as a 19th century Victorian chimney sweep, when he was inspired to write the acclaimed series of books entitled 'Duke & Michel'. It is believed the fumes from the chimneys did so much damage to Elias, that it was a miracle he ever ate a cupcake again. 

Later, he travelled back in time to the present, and went on a series of trips to many foreign and distant lands. During these travels, Elias met and listened to many interesting people, choosing to ignore all of them. He did, however, learn a couple of things: i) the earth is flat; and ii) you should never eat a banana when it's not ripe.

Many questions are often asked by his adoring public. Are you human? How many chimpanzees can fit inside a fridge? What is that thing growing on the side of your head? To which Mr Zapple has always smiled, turned away and swam off into the sunset; having only once been bitten by an unfriendly shark.

Elias Zapple continues to work towards the unification of Korea, and writing children's stories that parents will spend huge sums of money on. He wishes you all to know that every penny made from the books will go straight into his bank account, which he will then spend on a lavish, new tent.

For more Zappleness and the latest news on all of Zapple's books, please visit www.eliaszapple.com
 

Quickees

This is where you can leave a short message for the writer. All Quickees are public. To leave a private message, use the private messaging system.

If you want to write a quickee (a remark or a hint for example) on this writer's profile, please sign in.

Fans of Elias Zapple:

Elias Zapple is a member of: