Leo Bond Profile

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Leo Bond

Location: United States

Gender: M

Member Since: December 2013

Last online: March 2019

Open for read requests: Yes

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News

Last Updated Apr 25, 2018

I think I'm done, at least for awhile.

Hey, if you're reading this then you either stumbled upon my profile through a book or are an old fan coming to see how things are going. Regardless of which camp you spawned from I have some bad news that is quite hard for me to confess. Honestly, I don't know why I am bothering with this, probably just for closure or to explain things to the pair of you that have kept with me for these years. I am putting my pencil down, maybe permanently but who knows. I never envisioned myself as a writer, I just love to craft stupid stories around characters that are only an aspect of me, living a better life in a world that is far from the one I live in. One thing led to another and I just kind of started writing but I know nothing about it, I don't know all these fancy things people refer to when it comes to proper writing or how to build a proper world, create a unique character, or simply keep people interested. But none of this has to do with why I am quitting, it's because I am no longer inspired, now unable to find enjoyment in my writing.

I started writing in a very dark time, I had no friends, was struggling in school, was always fighting with my dad and couldn't find a point to keep going on. All I had was my little brother, who is the light of my life, and a passion for anime. One day I was sitting back watching a stereotypical anime when I got upset over its piss poor plot, characters, and writing. I got up and went to the local DG and bought a journal, I was convinced that I could do better than something like that and I wrote the first chapter of Broken Bonds. It was about two brothers torn from their parent's by a new mysterious man. Those two kids were my brother and me, our parents aren't dead in real life but the mystery man represented who my father really was and he killed the perception I had of who my father was and drew me apart from my mother because she couldn't handle the fighting we always did. Needless to say that I wasn't happy back then, so I had to vent somehow so it was on the pages. I wrote about how my character lost his brother, representing how my brother and I weren't very close at first but that's as far as reality goes in the story.

Then my character begins making friends and thriving in his social life, he meets the women I would love to fall in love with and the becomes friends with the men I would want to be or would want to befriend. Obviously, those gender roles can be swapped now but keep in mind I was a moody teenager who was yet aware of his bisexuality. I had this alternative reality I could go to where I was a dashing young man who was unique and mattered and had friends, but I needed this because I had nothing in actual life.

I showed it to my brother and he loved it, encouraging me to write 55 chapters that I then started to upload. All five hundred of those pages are here on Booksie, I remember when I got my first ten reads and suddenly I felt validated as if my struggle was lifted by having others read it and understand. I left it here where I met many wonderful fan and writers who I was inspired by and kept me going, teaching me to do better. Thanks for that P3ANUT, I wouldn't be half the writer I am if it wasn't for you and so many others. 

Now jump ahead a bit and I wrote The Tail Of A Guardian. I wrote this to be a book and tell a story, not to vent or create an escape. It was going well but sometimes I struggled to finish a chapter, it felt like I didn't care. I eventually wrote around 1500 pages for this but each chapter was harder to do then the last. I had no reason to write because I wasn't in an emotionally vulnerable place like before, I was okay. I still found a way to bum myself though, I told myself that I had to write because it was all I knew to do, I made it into a burden and that is what hurts the most. I love my story, I read it back over myself and I love it. If I could have my way nothing would change but I just can't write anymore. When I pick up a pencil and stare at the paper I feel empty, a rock begins to weigh me down in the baren pits of my body and I just want to do anything else. I forced myself to write so much that I killed all the fun that I used to know.

This all tears me apart now because I am in a place darker than I used to be as a teenager but now I can't even become a character and pretend it's all ok because that's not what adults supposed to do, or so we're taught. I can't just escape to my own perfect world anymore, hiding behind a mask becoming Leo or Drake or anybody because that's just childish. An adult doesn't indulge in idle fantasy like that, they have to get out and get a job so they have something to do to distract themselves from the nothingness. I miss those people I used to become but I think it was unhealthy to do because I tore parts of myself from my person to create my characters, Drake was the person I wanted to be, Eon was the person others thought I was and Lukas is the person I really am. I did this so much that I can't even settle on who I am anymore.

I have to grow up and leave this stuff behind, not because I want to but because I have to. I need to stop writing character and start finding my own, I can't keep pushing myself to write as if any moment I have that I'm not doing anything should be spent writing. It sucks because I had so much planned for these books which is why I also feel like I will come back to them in the future, but probably elsewhere or through different mediums. Kind of funny, I expected this to be a quick "Hey, I quit" update but just like when I was a teen I had to vent and make things super long that could have been just a few sentences. I guess to wrap this all up just know that this is all on me, this has been a long time coming and honestly, it is no one's fault but my own. Thank you for all the good memories and fun times, take good care of my characters in my wake, and sorry for leaving my stories unfinished. As you can probably tell from this essay like goodbye I am not good at letting things just end.

 


Profile Information

My name is Leo Bond and before you ask, no it isn't my real name. It is actually the name of the first character I ever wrote, so in a hope that I never forget my roots I hold his name close. A little bit you should know about me, my books tend to be kind of gruesome or dark, but I like to call it being realistic because I paint the world with words that match it, not words that raise its grandeur greater than it is. I love writing novels, though I've never really trained to do so. Seven years ago I was in a really dark place, at fourteen I was the stereotypical junior high outcast and it resulted in me always being alone so I decided to make myself friends. I picked up a journal from a local convenience store and wrote a story about a boy named Leo Bond was taken from all his family, forced to grow up in isolation. He eventually was able to escape metaphorical facility that was lonesomeness and make friends, the kinds of people I, at the time, would dream of making friends with. So yeah, my novels come from a place of discomfort to give me a safe place to escape to. But more then anything, I throw myself into these works and tend to lose myself, my mind and soul dancing across the paper to sometimes craft beautiful linguistic pieces of literature, but most of the time just end up tripping across the pages and making a mess. If you want an example just go look at the rough draft of Broken Bonds.

 

Growing up I actually loved drawing more than anything, my family loved it but no one in class ever noticed. One day, however, I finally made a friend after they commented on my art, but the next day he stole them and told all the other kids he had drawn them. I gave up drawing after that, I was deeply hurt by that as I grew to become less trusting and open with people, making no friends but keeping all my interests or hobbies to myself to protect what I could. In junior high, I did get into poetry, this time my teachers and fellow students give me praise as they honestly liked what I did. Some would come to me for help writing poetry for a crush or my teachers would use my work to explain how writing poems should be done. But of course what happens to boys who openly like poetry, they become the scapegoat for bullies to take their aggression out on by referring to them as fags or queers. To be honest, it didn't help with the minuscule amount of confidence I already had, but it didn't stop me. What did stop the poetry was when one of the only friends I had started getting into writing poetry claiming I inspired him. How did this stop me you might ask, in a petty way my dear reader, a petty way. The confidence I lacked kept me from being flattered by inspiring someone and instead caused me to see it as another person stealing the one thing that made me feel unique and appreciated. Now I know he didn't intend to come off like that but it was enough to make me quit. 

 

It wasn't until Sophmore year of high school that I became invested in writing novels/ short stories. One day in English my teacher asked us all to write a mystery story, at least five hundred words. I wrote a 15,000-word murder mystery starring a cast of the class I was in, and boy did this catch everyone's eyes. Each student loved what I did with them and to them as characters while my teacher enjoyed the creative take on the project, allowing me to be known as the classroom murder story guy. Ever since then I have had a sick respect for death and the art one can put behind it. With this new found satisfaction I took the story Broken Bond I had started a few years prior and put it on Booksie, bringing in a surprising amount readers and reads. Now with everyone in the school referencing me as the guy who writes amazing literature, I began to take my role more seriously as I took classes in creative writing, literature, and characters. With the help of a few fans on Booksie, a great teacher, my little brother, and a fan called P3ANUT (that you can find on Booksie), I managed to craft myself into what I can say is a passible amateur writer. If you are curious about what I write it is usually fantasy set in modern day, accompanied by what I've been told are thrilling wells described fight scenes as well as original and creative tales.     Link to P3ANUT -> https://www.booksie.com/users/p3anut-121893​

 

I am open to reading requests right now, I only ask you read something of mine in return. Feel free to leave a quickee or dm me if you want to chat or request I read something of yours. I'm up to read most stories, short stories, or poems (even fan-fiction stuff if I know the fandom). Please tell me whatever you think of my writing, the worst feeling is when I keep getting reads but no one leaves a comment. Become a fan if you like what I do and want to be kept updated (KMU if you want to put it in the message). I've been on this site awhile, taking it very seriously at one point but falling off. Now I am back to strike with the force my pen gives me. 

 

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