LukeRounda Profile

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Location: Lawrence, Kansas, United States

Member Since: August 2008

Open for read requests: Yes

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"I don't like things too obvious because if it's obvious it gets really stale... we don't mean to be cryptic or mysterious, I just think that lyrics that are different, weird and spacey paint a nice picture, and that's just the way I like art." -Kurt Cobain

POINTS OF REFERENCE. Kurt Cobain, William Gibson, Neal Stephenson, cyberpunk et. al., Chuck Palahniuk, Hunter S. Thompson, Harlan Ellison, Jhonen Vasquez, Warren Ellis (Transmetropolitan), Don Hertzfeldt, Mitch Hedberg.

ON DRUGS. To answer a question that has been coming up: no, I'm not on drugs. But I appreciate the sentiment! Cool people do drugs, right? Anyway, if you have any drugs you'd like me to sample, please send them to me in a secure baggie with a note differentiating between those drugs covered by Medicare and those not.

ON WRITING. My belief is that the best works of prose fiction are like intensely focused pieces of poetry. As you may have inferred, I have a soft spot for bitter, derisive humor that takes no prisoners. The writing needs to be raw, real, sharp, and probably tinged with humor because of those very things, as when I cut myself shaving in the morning. Sail the boat of poetry, anchor it with leaden humor and a foot in reality. Voila, my style. Or what I hope I think it is.

MORE ON WRITING. One tip: Don't write fucking awful emo poetry about how you hate your life, want to die, think about slashing your wrists to end it all part of the time, and the rest of the time hiding in the dark crying. If any of these themes show up in your poetry on a semi-regular basis, in a rather blatant way ("My wrists are so pale / I cut them every time I fail / The blood is so crimson red / I just wish that I was dead"), please, please stop writing this shit and calling it "poetry" with a straight face. Then I might actually want to read/review something you've written. As it stands, this one rule effectively pares down my reading selection on some sites by up to ninety percent. Of course, I don't want to read cute poems about kittens and horses, either (unless, after suckering someone in with those big, cute eyes, they go apeshit and murder people or jump off of boats like in The Ring)...

ON BEING REVIEWED. Don't care for my acerbic brand of directionless, long-winded prose? We might have something in common. Send me a picture (full body or middle finger accepted) and some of your interests. Do you enjoy long walks on the beach, Christmas lights in July, and/or porno?

ON EMPTY INTERNET THREATS. My lawyers have informed me that if I find any of my work any place other than where I put it or gave explicit permission to put it, they will "kill a motherfucker." Their words, not mine, man. They might simply have been disgruntled from having been starved in my basement for years until their teeth and fingernails grew to resemble drool-adorned knives with sharp, sharp edges.


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