mariablack Profile

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Location: Ireland

Member Since: June 2010

Open for read requests: Yes

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I hope you like my fanfics, I have always wanted to write a story someone loves a lot.

I adore the hobbit, all three of them. The last movie broke my heart so I shall pretend the line of durin did not end. I love most fanfics with fem characters like fem harry potter or fem Bilbo baggins. Not that I don't like slash here and there. I hope you enjoy what ever I put up, and criticism is appreciated, flames however are not.

I found this and thought it was cool!

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER


When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE : When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

() () (0.0)

Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies and yaoi/yuri)

My top dislikes in fan fiction (written by old saint John)

#1) Ridiculous AU's. So you want to write a fan fiction, but want to place your own spin on the source material? A slight change to the characters personality's, or to the canon world is a great way to start on an interesting story. However, there are limits.

When you take a group of well known characters, and rewrite their personality's to the point where the only similarity between them and the canon character is there name, your taking things a bit to far. There is a reason these characters that we most commonly write about became popular in the first place, and that is that they were, regardless of faults, interesting. At the core of there personality, a character in fan fiction must still bear some similarity's to there canon counterpart, if they don't then you might as well just get rid of them and use your own OC.

The problem of ridiculous AU's becomes even worse, when, a writer takes his or her now non-canon compliment characters, and puts them in a world that has no connection to the canon world they originate in. The worst examples of this I have noticed, are the Naruto in high school stories, where an author has completely disregarded the entire plot of Naruto and thrown his characters, who only retain the barest of resemblance to the canon character, into a school, not in the Elemental Countries, but instead in America some where. When your fanfiction completely ignores both canon personality's of characters, and every aspect of the canon story, you are no longer writing fanfiction. You are writing a simple fiction without having been able to think of your own character names and descriptions.

#2) Poorly thought out crossovers. A crossover is a fantastic way to take a beloved character, and introduce them to new adventures, however, if you are writing a crossover, you need to make sure that the way the crossover between the two canons occurs makes sense. No matter what you use as an excuse, there is no way that the elemental nations of Naruto, somehow exist in the modern world of Bleach, with out anyone, anywhere, ever having noticed this huge land mass full of super powered people exists. It just doesn't make sense. Find a reasonable reason for your character to exist in a different world, the reason does not need to be complicated, or even original, as long as it works. Anything from spell/jutsu gone wrong, to accidental time travel, to immortality and the world changing around the character over hundreds or thousands of years. Any of these can work. What doesn't work is that Naruto took a walk one day, and somehow made it to fucking Hogwarts.

#3) Unreasonable pairings. The great thing about fanfiction, is that you, as a writer, are able to take two of your favorite characters, and place them in a relationship together. When you want a story that has Harry/Hermione, or Naruto/Sakura, or Ichigo/Rukia pairings, you can find it despite it not being canon compliant. However, some pairings, no matter how much you may want them, can never, and will never make sense.

The best example of the completely unreasonable pairing, is the ridiculous amount of Harry/Voldemort, Harry/Snape pairings. Firstly, I don't care how you write it, how you try and excuse it, there is no way any person with even a modicum of emotional health would ever enter into a relationship with a man who is both some fifty years older then them, and more importantly, killed his parents. Secondly, Snape was in love, or at least infatuated to with Lily, he was in many ways obsessed with her, to the point that even sixteen years after her death, he could not even think of loving another. There is no way he would simply cast aside all those feelings for Lily, and fall in love with her son, and if he did, it seems far more likely that he is simply trying to redirect his feelings to gain some measure of gratification. A rather unhealthy way of dealing with them.

#4) Ridiculous harems. I have no problem with a story having a harem pairing, however what I do have a problem with, is when a writer decides that the main character of there story needs to sleep with every single female character to ever appear or be mentioned in the source material. One main character with two, three or even four romantic partners can, when the story is well written be reasonable. As long as the writer allows for a good romantic buildup between the characters, it can work well, but when a writer decides that the main character should be able to be in a relationship with any female character, with build up that amounts to "Hi, I'm Blah Blah", "Hi Blah Blah, I'm Blah Blah, suck my dick." You're starting to get silly. So unless you are writing a harem story that is based primarily around lemons, please keep the harem size believable.

On a similar note, does anyone else think needs to add a yaoi/yuri filter to the search options?

The Girl: I'm the girl who isn't dancing, just jumping up and down screaming the lyrics.

I'm the girl that if you call my friend a bitch I WILL say something. I'm the girl that will slap you if you push me.

I'm the girl that speaks my mind, whether you like it or not. I'm the girl that walks like I am proud even if I have toilet paper stuck on my shoes.

I'm the girl that you don't want to be on her bad side. I'm the girl that doesn't take crap from anyone. BUT I'm also the girl that carries a book in her purse. I'm the girl that wears sweat pants to the dance. I'm the girl that no one knows her name, for good or bad and I like it that way. I'm the girl who acts shy one second and the next I will be laughing like an idiot. I'm the girl that people call "Freak" and "Weird" but I take that as a compliment. I'm the girl that doesn't have normal hobbies. I read and I write. I'm the girl that hasn't been asked out at all. I'm the girl who isn't a people person but I am when it comes to friends. I'm also the girl they call "best friend."

Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART, Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG, Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY, Calling me POOR won't make you RICH, Calling me FAT wont make you SKINNY, Calling me UNCOOL wont make you COOL, So why bother?

I am not afraid of the dark, I am afraid of what is lurking in it. I am not afraid of heights, I am afraid of falling. I am not afraid of falling in love, I am afraid of not being loved back.

Fanfiction is a site for people who daydream and constantly imagine the impossible.

Fanfiction is a site for people who never give up.

Fanfiction is a site for those of us who aren't accepted in the real world.

Fanfiction is a site for girls who are deperately in love with a non existant guys. (Because they're the best kind...)

Fanfiction is a site for people who talk to themselves... a lot.

Fanfiction is a site for people who laugh at jokes that no one else gets.

Fanfiction is a site for girls who don't need guys to complete them.

Fanfiction is a site for people who ditched reality and went for something different.

Fanfiction is a site for people who hang onto dreams.

Fanfiction is a site for people who are different, but don't care because, they know it's who they really are.

If you think Ginny isn't right nor is Harry's soul mate, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you think Sirius and Regulus loved each other and were close once a time, copy and paste this into your profile.

I promise to remember Sirius Black, who was hated by his mother but found true family in his friends...

I promise to remember Regulus Black the first person to defy the Dark Lord...

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Spoken by Albus Dumbledore.

It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Spoken by Albus Dumbledore.

Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides. "So - after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating-" "Jordan!" growled Professor McGonagall. "I mean, after that open and revolting foul-" "Jordan, I'm warning you-" "All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure..." Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Spoken by Lee Jordan and Minerva McGonagall.

"Your aunt and uncle will be proud, though, won't they?" said Hermione as they got off the train and joined the crowd thronging toward the enchanted barrier. "When they hear what you did this year?" "Proud?" said Harry. "Are you crazy? All those times I could've died, and I didn't manage it? They'll be furious..." Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Spoken by Hermione Granger and Harry Potter

You think the dead we loved ever truly leave us? You think that we don't recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble? Your father is alive in you, Harry, and shows himself plainly when you have need of him. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Spoken by Albus Dumbledore.

"What's that?" he snarled, staring at the envelope Harry was still clutching in his hand. "If it's another form for me to sign, you've got another -" "It's not," said Harry cheerfully. "It's a letter from my godfather." "Godfather?" sputtered Uncle Vernon. "You haven't got a godfather!" "Yes, I have," said Harry brightly. "He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with my news...check if I'm happy..." Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban. Spoken by Harry Potter and Vernon Dursley.

You should have died! Died rather than betray your friends, as we would have done for you! Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban. Spoken by Sirius Black.

Believe me. I never betrayed James and Lily. I would have died before I betrayed them. Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban. Spoken by Sirius Black.

There's enough filth on my robes without you touching them. Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban. Spoken by Sirius Black.

I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me. Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban. Spoken by Harry Potter.

Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business. Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git. Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor. Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball. Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban. Spoken by The Marauders.

If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Spoken by Sirius Black.

My eyes aren't glistening with the ghosts of my past. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Spoken by Harry Potter.

Keep muttering and I will be a murderer. Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix. Spoken by Sirius Black.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" asked Sirius as they emerged into the entrance hall. "Loved it," said Lupin briskly. "Give five signs that identify the werewolf. Excellent question." "D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" said James in tones of mock concern. "Think I did," said Lupin seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. "One: He's sitting on my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus Lupin..." Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix. Spoken by The Marauders.

"Excellent." said Lupin, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered. "We've got about a minute, I think. We should get out into the garden so we're ready. Harry, I've left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry -" "They won't," said Harry. "That you're safe -" "That'll just depress them." "- and you'll see them next summer." "Do I have to?" Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Spoken by Remus Lupin and Harry Potter.

"Who's Kreacher?" "The house-elf who lives here," said Ron. "Nutter. Never met one like him." "He is not a nutter," said Hermione. "His life's ambition is to have his head cut off and stuck up on a plaque like his mother," said Ron. "Is that normal, Hermione?" Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Spoken by Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger.

"Harry, don't go picking a row with Malfoy, don't forget, he's a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you..." "Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life?" said Harry sarcastically. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Spoken by Hermione Granger and Harry Potter.

"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?" "Yes," said Harry stiffly. "Yes, sir." "There's no need to call me 'sir,' Professor." Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Spoken by Severus Snape and Harry Potter.

So, people, let's try to calm down a bit. Things are bad enough without inventing stuff as well. For instance, this new idea that You-Know-Who can kill with a single glance from his eyes. That's a Basilisk, listeners. One simple test: check whether the thing that’s glaring at you has got legs. If it has, it's safe to look into its eyes, although if it really is You-Know-Who, that's still likely to be the last thing you ever do. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Spoken by Fred Weasley

Dobby never meant to kill! Dobby only meant to maim, or seriously injure! Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Spoken by Dobby the House Elf

Month one

Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy I'm a boy! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak.

Think of what you're doing to children or babies if you get an abortion, how can a mother do this...

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile.

This is a story about a little girl that was abused. If you care at all, copy and paste this into your profile:

My name is Sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made my daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up all the day long When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark; my folks aren't home. When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just one whipping tonight Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back from Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse; my name he calls I press myself against the wall. I try and hide from his evil eyes I'm so afraid now; I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping he shouts ugly words, He says its my fault that he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me and yells at me more, I finally get free and I run for the door. He's already locked it and I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me against the hard wall. I fall to the floor with my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues with more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream... but its now much too late His face has been twisted into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain again and again Oh, please God, have mercy! Oh please, let it end! And he finally stops and heads for the door, While I lay there motionless; sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah and I am but three, Tonight my daddy, murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!


Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school He told his friends that it was cool And when he pulled the trigger back It shot with a great crack Mummy I was a good girl I did what I was told I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another And all because he got the gun from his older brother Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush And tell my little sister that she is the only one now And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class And never to forget this and please don't let this pass Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack Mummy listen to me if you would I wanted to go to college I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with daddy On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married I wanted to have a kid I wanted to be an actress Mummy I wanted to live But mummy I must go now The time is getting late Mummy tell my Chris I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date I love you mummy I always have I know you know it's true Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you" In memory of the Columbian students that were lost Please if you would Pass this around I'd be happy if you could Don't smash this on the ground If you pass this on Maybe people will cry Just keep this in heart For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

Now you have two choices

1) repost and show you care

2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart

(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)


Gatiss is my God.

Moffat my master.

Benedict, my sex slave.

Moriarty, my cousin.

John, my spiritual father.


FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run bitch run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this

When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

When life hands you lemons, throw 'em back and demand Edward (or Jasper lol)

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this to your profile.

If you try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them, copy and paste to your profile.

If you are a walking, talking Twilight series encyclopedia and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have spent a whole day reading Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse, without any food, copy and paste this to your profile.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volturi" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

If you have so many dreams about Twilight that you have lost count, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you wierd, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself copy and paste this to your profile.

Have you ever tried having a thumb war with yourself?? I have. (I found that I'm a very tough opponent.) If you have just tried having a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you find Spongebob funny SOMETIMES, but most of the time he is SO annoying you want to throw the TV out the window, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you absolutely are TERRIFIED of spiders, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever pulled on a door that said push, or vise versa, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever stayed up past 2 in the morning reading, copy and paste this on your profile. (More like all night! :D)

If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block blows, copy and paste this to your profile.

Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

People say that I'm weird, but I think that weird is strange, and strange is odd, and odd is different, and different is unique, and everyone is unique, so unique is normal, so therefore I am normal. If the same is true for you, copy this onto your profile!

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this to your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this to your profile.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile XD

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are reading this line, copy and paste it in ur profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are not sure if you find these 'copy and paste things' annoying or if you love them, copy and paste this on your profile.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Azmanig huh?

You know you're obsessed with Twilight when..

1) You have read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse at least 3 times.

2) You own all above mentioned books.

3) You know that they're totally going to screw up Twilight the Movie, and you want to see it anyway.

4) You have read everything on every page of Stephanie Meyers web site.

5) You have reread a lot of these pages.

6) You read fanfiction about Twilight.

7) You write fanfiction about Twilight.

8) At one point or another, you have had a screenname/username that says something about Twilight or its characters.

9) You constantly count the days until Breaking Dawn comes out.

10) For a long while after you read Twilight/New Moon, you acted as a missionary for the books, asking everyone you talked to if the had read them.

11) If said people have not read Twilight, you insist that they read it, because it is, and I quote, "the best book ever".

12) If anyone says something that goes against the statement that Twilight is the best book on the planet, you immediately start to argue with them.

13) You stand firm by your belief that anyone who says that Twilight is just a crappy, unrealistic love story(and yes, believe it or not, I do know someone who has said this!) should be taken to the edge of a cliff and pushed off.

14) For months after you read it, Twilight was your favorite subject to talk about.

15) When you found out you would have to wait until August of 2007 for Eclipse to come out, you almost cried.(AN: this one kinda depends on when you read the first two books, I guess!)

16) You argue with your friends over which member of the Cullen family you like best.

17) You began reading fanfiction as a desperate attempt to read something about Twilight, when you had already finished the books.

18) No matter how many times you read Twilight or Twilight-related stories, you never get tired of it.

19) As you read this list, you are smiling and nodding at almost every thing you read.

20) Even though you know it's impossible, you often wish that you were a vampire.

21) Vampires are officially your favorite mythical creature ever.

22) Your personal motto is, vampires are cool, not scary.

23) You know that you are not crazy for being obsessed with Twilight; people who don't understand it just haven't read the book.

24) When you hear that someone read Twilight and didn't like it or thought it was stupid, you just shake your head and sigh.

26). You literally haunt Stephenie Meyer's website waiting for new information

27). You're driving your parents mad with your crazy countdowns

28). You're keeping track of all the "Breaking Dawn Quotes of the Day" and trying to figure out what they all mean

29). Your home page is Stephenie Meyer's website

30). Your desktop has something to do with the Twilight Series

31). Your screen saver reads "Twilight Movie: November 21"

32). You have both the original New Moon book and the New Moon Special Edition

33). You put your Eclipse poster in plain view so that everyone can see it

34). You can't believe that most people haven't read the books

35). You know all the characters so well that you feel as if you could write your own stories about them

36). You spend most of your day making up "What if...?" questions about all the different plot lines

37). You've actually read the play "Romeo & Juliet" just so you could find out how Jacob would die

38). You know you're addicted, but you don't care

39). You can't help saying, "I can't wait for August 2nd!" while everyone who isn't "in the know" stares at you like you're psyco

40). You're more excited about the release of Eclipse than anything to do with Harry Potter

41). When you found out that Breaking Dawn wasn't coming out until 2008, you have a mental breakdown

42). When you found out about Midnight Sun you had yet another mental breakdown

43.) You ACTUALLY noticed there was no 25.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy an dpaste this to your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever asked a stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you support the "Make Edward change Bella into a vampire" club, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said "pull" or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is this long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you have AACIBD Addicted to All Cullens Including Bella Disorder copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Jacob should just stay a friend and have a happy ending copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it's NOT even funny anymore, copy and paste this into your profile.

7 Reasons Not to Mess with Children (small children)

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The te acher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE . God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.


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