Mark Cacciatore

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Mark Cacciatore

Location: Wildwood MO. , United States

Member Since: December 2011

Open for read requests: Yes

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I was sent here to analyze the "human" behavior but got caught up in my own "behavior".

So the great lord above decided to test me.

He said "Mark you need to stop turning the other cheek. There's a reason these fools were banished to earth. Do not get caught up in their mess. We have a bigger one to come."

Well, I began to enjoy the small little things people had to offer. So much I began to surround myself with their shit...  (excuse me)

"love"

 After a good amount of years of fucking around on the job, I met the Devil. Well, actually this was just the first time I realized it. He has showed his face to me in the past but I chose to blissfully ignore it and let him drag my soul slowly down with him for years!

But this time he was different. He didn't show himself to me as a drug, bitch, teacher, crab ass, bum, demon or a dead friend. This time he was just a dude. A dude like me. An emotional teen.

I asked him, "So wait, your the devil?" He just smiled. Smiled at me while we dined over two pancakes, two slices of bacon /sausage and an egg. (Sunny Side Up) my favorite…

…While we eat I think to myself. “Is it really him or is it another human pulling a stupid human prank?” He seemed too disgruntled to be pulling my string. I was in awe. I felt like it was such a privilege to meet the ex-friend of the lord almighty above. Giving them a bigger purpose like getting a rare trading card no one else has.

 But, why?

Why would he show this familiar form to me? Is it another trap to throw me off guard so he can claim even more of my soul as his own? Here was my chance to find out.

Every now and then I feel like the lord above takes his eye off me and lets me run on autopilot. It was my pocket for escape. My way of walking out, I’m going to quit my job.

Well, as you know the devil is famous for fucking people over. But, he does know how to treat a “person” (that’s what I go by these days) right. So I let him treat me right, but oddly enough I was treating him in return. I made friends with the devil.

Over time he introduced me to some of his friends. Demons who were on the inside. Demons who excepted me on the inside. I questioned some of these demons and believe some of them to be fallen angels like myself. Just lost and misguided. But, some of these demons carried bad luck. Although there temptations were great I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by the energy these demons were producing. I couldn’t take it. I wanted out!

So one night during my hysteria, I stole wine and told the devil I had nothing to do with it. I left the house and drove down to very good friends to have a chat about my predicament. She’s no angel nor is she a demon. She’s simply a human who is on the ball. She studies “people” like me and I use her as my personal psychiatrist. Were both going mad but I think that’s what makes each conversation great.

The next morning I head back without a hint of hate towards anyone. I listened to some good music, ate a morning hot dog from Mobile On The Run and was ready to have a great day. Right when I make it back I’m immediately confronted by a negative response. The devil felt betrayed for he knew I lied to him. This was my chance. He was weak. I began my attack to realize I didn’t want to do this. I wish I could say sorry right then but there was nothing else I could do except wish death upon myself.

The demons and fellow fallen left me so wallow in my own self-pity. I should have felt victorious and in a sense I did. My bad luck felt like it was changing. I had a couple days to myself to make it feel as if I was working again. But my soul left attached to the devil and those demons. I made it my quest to gain my soul back. I began to hang out with each demon/ fallen individually and in small groups to realize even more that everyone one of these “people” are all lost. I belonged to a group of lost souls. I began to accept the demons into my life and developed and understanding. They don’t mean demons they just are. They want to do good but are forever doomed to screw up.

Then it hit me. The devil is not a trading card to put up on a pedestal. He is a lost soul like us. He was sorry for fucking me over for all those years. He showed me this form to try and help me. He wanted me to get on the right track. He wanted me to get my job back.

I accepted the fallen, the demons and the devil once again. Creating our own personal hell, full of temptation and ignorance. This time. The devil wasn’t around as much. We made up but he moved on and I was moving on as well. He wanted me to stick up for myself. He wanted me to be the best I could. We’ll I fucked up and this time with out the help of the devil. I fucked this up on my own and with the demons I surrounded myself with. I had enough. I couldn’t take anymore. I put myself here and now I want free but couldn’t do it with kindness for demons walk all over kindness as if it were free candy.

I had to break these bonds. I needed what I came for. I wanted my soul.

And now I’m here.

My soul has been thrown around like a game of hot potato. Do I really want this back? Everyone I love has played with it. I don’t mind sharing but now I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what’s more important. My friendships or myself.

I still talk to the fallen angels for they are the only beings I feel I can relate to. Occasionally intrigued by a human who happens to grasp the concept of what I’m going through and is willing to listen and understand more.

The devil checks in every now and then, showing me that he is still there and supporting me, making me feel even more like an ass hole. But, I appreciate it nonetheless.

Overall I am back where I started.

No job,

No guidance,

An empty hell,

And a used soul.

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