Book / Humor
Book / Humor
Book / Humor
Another sob-story; I was born in the haying shed of Uncle Clem, during a brutal winter many moons ago. Uncle Clem was a short-tempered dude who made beer in his basement; and sickened me with his eating. So, I ran away and joined the circus, as the dancing bear. But that didn't work out so well, as I have 2 left necks, dance horribly, and am not of the bear species. So I ended up here, looking for compliments. Please, won't you help a poor ex-dancing bear in the circus at least feel some shred of self-worth?
The One-Stop Story
“How many times have you had to go to 37 different story shops to find all of the different kinds of stories you wanted? You had to go to the Drama Store to pick up one story, then drive all the way across town to purchase a comedy story, then back across town to pick up that true-crime story you had your eye on. Before now, you might have had to pack a lunch, hire a babysitter, max out 3 gas cards, and make plans to possibly stay overnight in a dubious hotel just to pick up the books you wanted. What a hassle! Well, not any more! Introducing The One-Stop Story Shop. No matter what kind of story you’re in the market for, you’ll find it at our brightly-lit store! Come in, order a cup of coffee (unfortunately theft of our coffee cups has been a problem, so we've had to nail them to the counter and insert straws), pull up a chair, and read your butt off (well, not off, because then you’d have balance problems!). Or, if you’d prefer, take the book home with you. Why not, it's free! So purchase whatever category of story you’d like and read, read, read!”
—advertisement by Mike Stevens.
*********AISLE ONE:THE SOWING CIRCLE*********
If you were to hear my peasant-like North of England accent, you'd probably want to punch me in the face and say that me writing anything is a crime against humanity. If you don't, well then head over to my page and devour my stories like a hungry animal. I mainly write Literary Fiction, but I'm branching out into some Dark Humour, too. You're welcome to be part of the adventure! The Yard Dealer,Song Of The Sonora
Grew up in a household where words and their meanings and music and its beauty were paramount. Therefore, my various and sundry jobs as a wordsmith for various and sundry purposes seems a natural. Have four grown sons who tickle me pink. Am retired, living quietly and alone, back in NE where I grew up after stints in Boston, Hollywood, and NYC. I am soon turning another decade corner but lost track after a couple got left with the umbrellas someplace. I write funny, I write straight, I rant (once, so far) I do rhyming verses and muse in wannabe poetry, I pay with nursery tales, have written a few of my own fables, I take a poie here and turn a serious corner there, and I love all my characters. I find word wondrous and magical, can make music to fit any mood, takes you wherever you wish to go. They are my best friends. Oh, and I love to laugh. Mike honors me
I am M Amber Conrad. Most of my friends on Booksie call me MA for short. I am 36 years old. I have been with the same boyfriend for over six years. I have two beautiful girls, ages 14 and 10. I also have two dogs, a cat, and two fish. I love music and reading. I enjoy my food. I’m from the South (United States), so I grew up on “comfort food”. I really like taking pictures. I write poetry, stories, articles, and music. I write about what I feel in my heart and soul. I write about personal experiences. I write because it is part of who I am, and who I always want to be. Paper and pen has always been my best friend, my confidante, never betraying me. It has been my therapy over the past several years, helping me to find my mistakes in life, and showing me where I can better myself. I see my own words and thoughts on paper, and it is important to me to be able to express myself this way. I always encourage writers to keep writing. Write what you find in your heart and soul. Write what you know, what you experience in life. Read. Reading is the key to give you valuable information. It increases our vocabulary. It sends pictures to our brains, helping us becoming more creative. Find the beauty in everything. Find the positive in all that you see. There is always a rainbow after a storm.
"I'm a really geeky and really nerdy 14 year-old who just loves writing. Yeah, I'm weird, but who isn't? I write short stories (usually science fiction or fantasy) and poetry! Oh, and also I sometimes give out cookies. Fake of course, but they're still cookies. Circles of scrumptious, warm heavenly goodness with these little magical, glorious chocolate chips inside. I'm not over-exaggerating."
******AISLE TWO:THE PHILOSOPHER'S TABLE*****
I am a 19-year-old male writing The Grey Fox, a fantasy novel in the year 428. I also write philosophical poems. Check out Grammar 101for writing help and tips. NOTE TO READER: If you leave question concerning grammar and punctuation on Grammar 101, Zin Dar will answer them for you. 7 Words Chapters - Reverse Story, Grammar 101 - Words 7 Words Chapters - Reverse Story, Grammar 101 - Words
*********AISLE THREE:MONTY'S ROUNDUP********
I'm a quirky gal who has always loved reading and writing. I prefer satire and comedy and write humorous poems and short stories. I enjoy taking a slice of life and making an absolute mess out of it. I grew up in a family who always found the humor in life, so I guess I come by it honestly! Thanks so much for the invite to One-Stop. I am honored to be associated with such talented writers.
.I'm just a middle aged guy from Iowa (that's one of the states somewhere in the middle of the U. S.). I happen to have two and a half brains, which makes it easier for me to write in several different genres. Most of the time they're in the jars on the shelf (I never said they were MY brains, now did I?) As far as what you'll find, should you bop on over to my page, there's lots of poems, humor, and other odds and ends. BYOB. Enjoy!.
************AISLE FOUR:POE'S CORNER************
I'd just like to reiterate that Mike Stevens is immensely talented only surpassed by his handsome features. I try to write uplifting and humorous work. Poetry is a vehicle for comedy and also can be comedic in it's own right.
What can I say? I am just your average guy 49 y/o that found out recently that life doesn’t quite pan out as I had planned or expected. With this revelation come some serious downs, and a huge positive. I have started to record my thoughts in poem and rhyme and oddly enough others do this too. Whether washed up or rowed on to the shore in a boat we have all found a little piece of paradise beach where we can stretch out our towel in our own little space and soak up the warm rays of literary creation. Elevated from zero to hero, I barely expected anyone to even read my poetry and emotional rantings, let alone like them…or be brave enough to suggest other might like them too. (Thank you Mike) We I am here now, so read away and enjoy if you’re able. I will keep writing as long as I am stable…oh and most definitely when I am not! I have been inspired since I arrived by so many; I hope my work is a catalyst to greater works written by you. Honoured to be here, in the One-Stop Story shop and a member of Booksie !
Hey! Honored to be included among these esteemed ranks. I'm 51, happily married, came on Booksie in October 2011. Got a wild hair, found relief with pen in hand. Writing, that is. Love to write humorous poems, like the challenge of rhyme and rhythm, but also have a serious side. The work I see on this site inspires me, and I welcome any and all comments. Please stop by and make a new friend.
I am the oldest of eight siblings. I am currently 64 year old. I read a lot from ages 8-17 then I stopped reading basically until I was 60 years old. In the last five years I have read voraciously and taken up writing poetry, short stories and novels. Talk about late bloomers. I am not a polished writer and have never taken any classes beyond my junior year of high school. I dropped out before my senior year and went to war in Vietnam. I do have the gift of (story telling) and I am passionate about writing. I have completed and self-published my first indie book and a collection of my poetry. I just finished the first draft on my second novel and expect to have it published by March 2013. I am basically learning as I go and I find that exhilarating. I have been married for over 42 years to the same woman and have a grown daughter. I write mostly positive and inspiring works. The story of my return to reading and writing can be found in my works under the heading of (The story of how I published my first novel).
'I'm just a hyper, spazzy, depressing, bipolar sixteen-year-old girl with a deadly love for chocolate and Hollywood Undead songs. I write poems...sometimes they're good and sometimes not, but it's not MY decision, that's up to YOU to decide. With me, what you see is what you get, get it? So read, read, READ!'
Guilty pleasure thinks she is the luckiest human not only in India but on this planet too. She lived like Rapunzel in her tower like house for twenty years and then decided to revolt, because she was born with the promise of a beautiful life and that was the time to fly away. So, then Ten years back she told her friends that she will be in law enforcement and will never marry. Both things came true. She also wanted to adopt children but finds herself too lazy for even taking care of a pet turtle. She writes without aspiring to be professional,, the only aim is excellence that wont be compromised at any cost. She is interested in quantum physics and acquiring more and more knowledge. She is a vegetarian and loves salad and coffee. In around ten years, she will reach the gorgeous age of forty but there is no hurry… and as you can see from her poetry, she seems to be deeply in love. Arts, beauty and love are the three main interests of her life and she is living it that way.
I am from England and started writing late in life. I am young at heart hence the reason my stories are for children apart from one short romantic. Love poetry in all genres. I am always pleased if someone has found enjoyment in something I have written..... Pat
Just a no-frills southern lady who is and always will be a hopeless romantic. Figured out that putting my thoughts on paper was like unburdening my soul. So stop by and visit if you have the time. Hopefully you will find something to make you smile.
She is an all around amazing, beautiful, wonderful, kind and talented girl. She's written a novel called She Said Nothing and a vast assortment of poems that will bring tears to your eyes. Be sure to read her amazing works, because you will definitely find that little missing piece in your heart again.
Anna, AnnaT, Anna2 and Annat2again – all add up to a booksie “off & on again” writer with a penchant for reading and writing poetry. Her voice has never been quite defined – it sways in the wind. Like the wind it is sometimes tender and delicate, other times wild, wilful, dark and dangerous. I love the variety of writers and writing offered on booksie, like everyone does in time, I find certain authors I know will delight, entertain and intrigue me and some who actually think and feel like me. That is always a joyous discovery. But I think it important to take a little time to encourage the many new, young writers emerging on booksie – (hey, yes, I’m an official “senior citizen” here in Australia) – because writers flourish with attention, thoughtful critique and genuine kindness. So that’s a little pin-prick of what I’m about. I write because I love to. My writings reflect me and my world and how I feel about the world outside. If one person reads something I’ve written and is moved, entertained or it also jolts them to think about something in their world then my “job” of writing was worthwhile. Take care all, ANNA
I am a southern gal, born in North Carolina.I enjoy sixties music; fine art;people with a great sense of humor and of course,writing. My work reflects my varied interests;from love poems to novels. I also give my opinions sometimes. You can take those with a grain of salt.I write to stir emotions and imaginations.Coming from a place rich in folk lore,I always knew I wanted to be the teller of stories. Come by page and stay a spell. :)
You owe it to yourself to check out this wonderful writer's works!
I have a split-personality to match my Gemini star sign. You will either split your sides laughing or will split up with me after your first read. I’m a bit of a teaser, bit of a pleaser, bit of a thinker and one helluva drinker ;)
**********AISLE FIVE:FANTASY ISLAND***********
I am a 17-year-old female amateur-writer who takes great pleasure in diving deep into the mysterious world of literature. Most of my texts are either short-stories or poems (or something along that line), but I also have a novel in progress.
**********AISLE SIX:TREKKIES' CANTINA*********
This 27-year-old writes a lot because she can't sleep. Why not read her works if you can't sleep? If you're up late and need something worth reading, check out the works of an eccentric chain smoking, pill popping, liquor swilling insomniac that's also a science fiction and fantasy writer. After reading "Signet: The Most Unlikely Beginnings", "The Last Remnants: Spellbound" and "Crossfire", there's also other awesome stories in a variety of other genres.
I'm a really clumsy and geeky college student with a love for science fiction and a passion for writing it in the form of short stories (I can't finish anything longer to save my life). I always appreciate new readers, and don't be afraid to comment or get in touch with me--I promise I won't bite!
***********AISLE SEVEN:BAKER STREET**********
**********AISLE EIGHT:CUPID'S SHRINE**********
*********AISLE NINE:CLIFF'S HANGABOUT********
*********AISLE TEN:DRIFTER'S HIGHWAY*********
I'm more than just your average freaky geek, I'm a goddamn genius! If you don't believe me, I have the papers from the insane asylum to prove it. "Oh, it's so lonely at the top of Mount Olympus." Now, kindly turn your backs, for, "The muse is upon me!" *Snap snap* "...Fetch me a small lyre.”
*************AISLE ELEVEN:KIDS' BEAT*************
******AISLE TWELVE:DUSTY BOTTOMS' OASIS*****
******AISLE THIRTEEN:ANGER MANAGEMENT******
horror and suspense thrillers
This young writer is full of surprises. Whether it's a psychopath trying to destroy your life, or waking up after a sixty year coma after shooting yourself, declan mckimm has it all! In his novels, there are more twists than a crooked pretzel!
********AISLE FOURTEEN: BUTLER'S BOOTH********
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