nicarose Profile

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Location: Chicago, United States

Member Since: August 2010

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I'm never sure what to write in these little biography boxes, so I'll just start with the current moment. It's roughly 9 o'clock at night on a Sunday in August, and tomorrow morning I'm leaving for Wisconsin on a short vacation. I experienced very little sleep last night, which is unsurprising given my generally unhealthy habits when it comes to sleep, exercise, and diet.

My name is Veronica Rose.

I once went to a free performance of these Buddhist monks (or something of the sort, I can't really remember), where they had a large sandbox and they made all of these beautiful pictures in it. When they were done with one illustration, they'd just move the sand around, sort of like an Etch-A-Sketch, and start on something else, and by the end of it, the only evidence that it ever happened was the audience's memories and the big square of sand in the ground. Nobody was allowed to take pictures or videos of the process, or even sketch what the pictures looked like. These monks had totally grasped the idea of letting things go as they needed to.

I think that's maybe the reason I write; because I can't let anything go. Every experience or thought that I have... for some reason I feel like I have to document and record all of them. I save every important online conversation I've ever had, keep a list of every person I've ever had feelings for, and collect the phone numbers of every person I've ever known based on a completely unfounded paranoia that I might need to contact them someday.

So maybe I'm just trying to hold onto the details.


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