Pastpresent

Pastpresent Profile


Pastpresent

Location: Bosnia And Herzegowina

Member Since: November 2017

Last online: December 2017

Open for read requests: Yes

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He left without saying goodbye  I heard alot of bad stories about him, but only a few good ones . I heard he treated my mom like shit even though she tried to do her best too keep my sister safe , I heard he was an asshole a psychopath a mentally deranged person . He called me when I was about six or seven don't remember and I don't care enough to try to , I remember that day I took the phone my mom sister grandma were around me and looking at me with a smile on my face cause I heard from him for the first time , I said to him and I remember clearly and keep in mind I was actually only six or seven years old I said '' Why did you leave us ''? '' Do you still love us '' ? I cried while I was speaking to him it was the hardest phone call I will probably ever have . We moved to a different town it was not that big of a town Hadžići . I was almost 8 at that time I really didn't have any friends cause I was the new kid in the neighbourhood and everyone looked at me different cause I was the only kid in the neighbourhood who had only one parent everyone blamed shit on me cause they knew I wouldn't have a dad to back me up, everyone used to bully me I was this chubby , short little kid, I couldn't defend myself cause I was very short and very weak . I wish I was only physically bullied it wouldn't bother me as much as the mental bullying . It's hard for a kid to not have anyone to protect them to back them up if something went wrong , that's why people used to blame stuff on me all the time and I would get into trouble every fucking day no one would believe it wasn't me cause they were to quick to judge you know '' he doesn't have a father '' so that must mean I have to be a troublemaker it has to mean I will cause difficulties , distress etc. It's hard for a kid not to have any friends at the age of nine I hope you don't know that feeling , the lonely days sitting alone outside playing with fucking cats , dogs , animals to be more specific . That feeling you get when you're left out really fucks up a kids mind really does , I remember my mom talking to me about my dad she told me alot of bad stories about him she hates him I can't blame her but I was not interested in stories I just wanted a dad . People would protect their ego no matter what they wouldn't care if they fuck up someones life not even a little bit , those people are so egotistical I hate that why can't they just let it slide a bit you know help someone make someone happy without thinking about yourself for atleast one fucking second . My sister was the only one who actually had a few nice stories about him I won't go into details with the stories but she remembers some nice stories and some bad ones, but mostly the nice ones.  When I was twelve he came to Hadžići , after twelve fucking years he decided to come and visit me after I was told alot of bad shit about him . I was in school at that time and my sister came to see me and said ''our dad came'' I was like very funny haha I laughed sarcastically and she said ''I am serious'' , so I went to ask my head teacher to leave school he asked me why I said my dad came to see me he was in schock actually he just said ''go'' without hesitation so I went . I was walking out of school happy cause I had like three more classes not cause I was gonna see my dad so we were walking and I saw a man standing next to a bench in the park with a beard he was short maybe like a hundred and fifty four centimeters I was taller than him even though I was in sixth grade. I came close to him and he tried to hug me while saying '' Son '' I pushed him away and said '' I don't have a dad and my mom told me not to hug strangers '' he looked at me funny but I didn't care. My sister said let's go for a walk and I agreed we were walking for about an hour when I wanted to eat something sweat and I asked my sister to buy us something sweet so she looked at him and we went to a candy store nearby and bought some candy I was happy at that moment , I asked him where was he gonna stay for the next few days which he replied '' I don't know I will see '' we went home and my sister asked mom could he stay with us for a few days till he has to go back she was furious with that idea so was my grandma but they aproved for us for the first time ever I felt I had a family it was a nice feeling . I played card's with him, board games it was fun but I did not feel a connection between us it was like we were completely different , I didn't have anything in common with him so we could bond but well atleast I gave it a try . The day came when he had to leave I wasn't sad or happy to be honest I didn't feel nothing , I couldn't wait so I lied and said I don't feel good I am going home and I sad bye and got into a bus to go home he gave me some money for school to spend you know like a good ''father'' he is I said thank you and went home . When I got home my mom looked at me and asked '' why did you come so early'' I replied I was bored she just smiled at me . From that day he tried to text me every fucking day on facebook , called me , texted me I was annoyed cause I didn't want anything to do with him so I blocked him I didn't feel nothing after he left it was like every other day . Even though he was with me for a few days , even though he stood next to me it still didn't feel like I have a dad ... 

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