Rainee Norshine Profile

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Rainee Norshine

Location: Naugatuck , United States

Member Since: June 2013

Open for read requests: Yes

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Obstacles .... deception... illusion... perception . Breaking beyond the barriers of comfort zones in your life... and in others. What makes you feel the way you do, and what makes someone else feel the way they do about you.. and themselves. Questions, concerns, habits, patterns learned by flaws in mistake, and insight by learned correction .... Penny for your thought.... lol, maybe I just became virtually rich and don't even know haha. I just want to be happy, and live , no BULLSHIT, just me , myself.. and MY CHILDREN .... AS FAR as everyone else... its all a bunch of noise.... party of people is a mind maze with much clouded judgement that is one big clusterf*#k to me. Maybe its all about direction , which direction you take, which directions you break, and the ones you refuse to follow, idk. How I see it, it's like this. I can sit back for a moment and think about just a few matters in my life that currently really urk me , and the point of it is, is that the people presently that I have such negative vibes from, be it intuitive, or up in my face kinda drama are from those with whom I hardly know, and they hardly know me. Why is that ? I have really no freakn' clue!! I honestly have gone far and beyond out of my way for " those" who really know me...know, trying so hard to make everyone happy... and realized that this had become something that was like a unseen control I placed upon myself, and wasn't in the longrun making myself happy. So I changed. I also realized that the ones who were about them.. and not willing to be even an equal in the slightest halted their tracks and bolted.. so be it... didn't need anything in return... and well they can keep all the missed thank-you's and please's too, I was finally happy to do for me.. and not ummm for you  .. ( just had to do it.. damn poet in me just had to rhyme lol ) So it was like so sad to see so many go... and such a waste of tears.. and just like that song.. the ants go marching 2 by 2 horrah horrah.... bla bla .. and they all go marching down under the ground to get out of the .... rain?.... oh no ... thats right , my tears to see them part, but why? Idk!!!! I decided to try something new and lay down laws of limits.. and that hole you do you and I will do me.. ya... it's interesting to see someone change so swiftly with a blink of an eye with that action to say the least. It then becomes like your fab 5... well that's about all that remains truly and the silence was sweet. Little Miss social butterfly finally gave up my wings... can that possibly be.. did I return to being like a freakn catapillar in my little cacoon of existence ... maybe. My true happiness flourished .. just me and my kids.. and my little joy .. my darling pet... it really is true how they help your inner self and soul, its like they aid you in your emotions just by their eyes, and comfort and sort of day... I am / was talking about my pet.. but above her, of coarse my children as well, just thier faces is like a warm summer breeze and a day at the beach all year long for me. So then it was like a swarm of infestation of insects that bombarded my territory , and like day to night, I felt hate. From where... I am nice.. honest... not fake... "try" to be a clown.. and just well try to be me, and enjoy life.. as we all like to do. Where does hate come from. Ask yourself , as I have. When you are certain someone doesn't like you , what is the reason for it ? When your life's existence became something aware to them, how did it happen? Did I do them wrong somehow when it began? Or did they to me? Did they lie to me? Did they betray me, or did I them... we all have opinions but I think if we truly ask ourselves that question it might solve problems we let loose in our minds for no reason. I often think that for whatever reason if someone is in our way of what we are doing.. we just automatically choose to be their enemy . Enemy.. I " hate" that word. I don't want to be anyones enemy ... maybe that's my problem.... maybe others do.. okay... so I see, and I just live how I want too, and you can continue to hate me.. and I will continue just not caring and living for me , this is fine. I just think though that if people chose a different direction like not allowing meaningless hate to bombard their spirit things would be so different. Should I catch the heebie jeebie's of hate .. and hate on them for hating on me... how infectious is this feeling... and it's funny cause you would think that love would be more so since it is a good feeling so why crave and choose hate for no good reason. Imagine if they met you a different way... took a different direction on that day.. yes there has to be a DAY.. dooms day for the relation.... and its like a fork in the road I suppose. which way do you go... I was actually asked many many years to verbally decide which person like a road to choose.. I went for the guy.. as most of us do.. but deep down I thought to myself... well I know I am choosing lust over a life friendship that is with someone who I clicked with and would be most likely much more substancial than where this is probably going... but I was in that whole denial mode... and away I went hop skipping down the road of ohh la la.. this is great... until I realized that oops, damn it was a dead end. shucks can you turn around and go back? Is that other person just back there down the road with their thumbs up like a lonesome hitchhiker waiting for you? Probably not.. and probably they don't really care to even bother with you.. and possibly don't even like you... and thats the story and how it goes sometimes. Then there is just an unknown crazy beyond this universe situation where someone really has no clue who you are.. and you were a road in someone they know's past and they learn about your life and being.. and curious because they are your long since replacement. The energy is already negative and then the negative feelings about themselves makes anything positive about you something that makes them instantly hate you, and you feel it... and inch by inch as far away hours upon hours, states and states away.. this vengence for a stranger in born in their eyes, and they pry into windows they can find and peek in on you and just hate and hate.. my mother was very intuitive, and her mother.. and prob her mother.. but as it's been past on... I have a strong.. heightened intuition, and empathy.. the empathy I should sometimes hide.. its not like someone wants you to feel sorry for them and so for the most part, unless its completely a must of importance to me.. I choose to keep that quiet.. but I do... I feel way to much .. for way to many.. and as I've said.. I feel way to much about how someone else feels about me.. and its such an icky feeling.. like being a bird in a cage ... ( and here I go again... ).... and well just wanting to be let free. hahaha. So where do we go from here? Well I like me... that's all I know... have so many flaws but I consider that like a work in progress and holy heck is the 30 somethings the ripe time to pluck and pick at all of our always desired imperfections. If my life was an eyebrow I must say... it's not the kind of tweezing I prefer... to thin ..for sure.. pluck pluck pluck.. lmao.. but hey thats life.. so I am expecting that when 40's arrive your just so calmed and conditioned and finally know whats up about you .. and everyone else. Hopefully with technology for me, that 40 is the new 20, cuz I must say it'd be nice to feel like 20 and just be like the almighty guru of oneself.. but in a fab 20 something Bod... oh ya.. and know how to use it.. and not abuse it as well.... so I guess for now the only way to turn back time.. is to not and just keep moving ahead.. but with a steady pace and no hasty decisions.. Do for you.. and not for them... say no.. and say yes when YOU want to and just go with the flow. Don't hate someone because you feel like you have to.. cause honestly you don't , the person you hate just might be just like you.. so its like hating yourself.. and maybe thats why you do.. think about it... who knows what we are missing by hating so much.. and maybe if we choose to not instead.. who knows what road it will take us... and what moments we will miss, and those almighty convo's w your fellow peeps you love.. and love the knowledge instead... I am quirky as hell , and love to feel happy, free, and wild at heart, loving nature is my hugest passion beside music... so I guess if I had it my way right now.. there would be no clouds in the sky.. I'd be sitting on top of a mountain of a glorious forest.. with my babies, and singing , whistling ,,, and using whatever for an instrument , and singing the song of life, love, and joy as the sun is like rain splashing specks of warm sunshine over me... touching my face.. and in my heart all I feel is beauty and far far away from hate..... that is just me.. and if I had a choice right now that is where I'd long to be!!!! ~~~~ Rainee Norshine 

 

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