Book / Science Fiction
Article / Humor
Article / Humor
Raised by a pride of lions, Rey was destined for greatness. Adept
at the arts and strategy, Rey is known as a shrewd and cunning
diplomat, merchant and advisor to many a great leader.
Of note, his advice to the Medici during the 15th century made his reputation known all over Europe, earning him the favor of English royalty who promptly took his warnings to build a great and formidable Navy, resulting in their rise as one of the dominant empires well into the 19th century.
Despite encouragement to visit the Americas, Rey would later say he'd "give that one a miss" and momentarily dedicated his service to Emperor Meji, instrumental in one of the most radical cultural and political reformations in the history of Japan. He would later return on holiday...
At the outbreak of World War Two, and his greatest resentment to date, Rey's counsel was turned down in favor of Joseph Gobbels. Rey's encouragement to the new regime to call itself "the Friendly Reich" and offer religious freedoms and focusing on tourism to boost the post WW1 German economy vice conquering the whole of Western Europe fell upon deaf ears. He then emigrated (once again) to Britain and was immediately employed with aircraft manufacturer "Supermarine" where it was said he told the designers to stop "faffing about" with racing planes and build a better fighter aircraft for the Empire. His foul language and inflammatory remarks encouraged the company to name their high-altitude fighter "Spitfire". He then decided to "make Adolf rather cross" and aided the Red Army in repelling the Wermacht back to Berlin.
Sometime later, Rey lost one of many bets to a J. Robert Oppenheimer on who could make a better weapon of mass destruction. Rey was of yet unaware of the fact that there was more than one way to "kill it with fire"; Rey spits on the name of "The Manhattan Project" to this very day.
After taking a holiday lasting the duration of the Cold War, Rey settled into a home in Queens ,New York. He then promptly moved to Florida, claiming that the snow "most offended his not-so-fragile sensibilities" and favored warmer climes.
Since then, and a brief holiday in Japan, he has settled once again in the United States.
Rey Fawkes: Cunning, Courageous, Charismatic and Crafty. Prominent personnages throughout history have celebrated him despite keeping his name from it's annals; most definitely, he is a Hero for the Ages.
Hero of the Soviet Union
Order of Lenin
Knight's Cross w/ Oak Leaves, Swords & Diamonds
(both German Awards revoked after his assistance to Russia)
Order of the Rising Sun
Distinguished Flying Cross (U.K.)
Lifetime Supply of Newcastle Brown Ale (U.K.)
Participation, Spelling Bee (school/nation unknown)
Advisor to :
Lorenzo Medici di Firenze
Niccolo Machiavelli (secretary)
House of Tudor
(...of note, Adm. Isoroku Yamamoto is not mentioned due to his injury at the Battle of Tsushima and his death by plane crash years later due to personal resentment at his "never listening to a blasted thing" Rey said)
In military service to:
Order of the Poor-Fellow Soldiers of Christ (and partially responsible for it's disbandment)
Imperial Japanese Navy (until 1903, when he got an "odd vibe")
United States Navy
(It is important to note Rey's services to various mercenary groups between the Third Crusade and the 15th century in Italy, of which he mostly ate biscuits and murdered peasants when the supply of biscuits were dwindling. It is also important to note there were never any biscuits around, thus narrowing down his exploits.)
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