Age: I'm younger than 20 but older
Birthday: September 7th
Favourite Colour: Purple
Favourite Animal: Right now it's a
Flying Squirrel hahahaha (inside joke)
Favourite Book (at the moment lol);
Strange Angels by Lili St.Crew. Amazing story.
Favourite Movie (at the moment):
Alice in Wonderland with Johnny Depp (yum) and Helena Bonham
Well, thats about it... I came on
booksie because of KIRKY B. so go search her and start reading her
stories. They are amazing. Your should also read Pieface57'sstuff.
She's my buddie(A.K.A one of my closest friends
Hahahahaha I found these at first
on facebook and had to put them on here. It looks really long and
boring but they are really funny. (At least I think so
THINGS I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DO AT HOGWARTS;
how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate
Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
2. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not
"an extra credit project for Herbology.”
3. I am not allowed to attempt to breed a liger.
4. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told you I
5. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning
Myrtle an eyeful.”
6. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable.
"Polishing my wand" in the common room is not.
7. I am not allowed to cackle whenever practicing magic.
Real wizards don't get it.
8. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's
Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not
a clever money-making concept.
9. I will not start every Potions class by asking
Professor Snape if today's project is suitable for use as a
10. Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms.”
11. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination
12. I will not tell Ron and Hermione to "Get a room"
whenever they start to fight.
13. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the
square root of -1 is.
14. Calling Lucius Malfoy "Luscious Mouthful" is just
15. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.
16. Asking, "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?"
and walking away is only funny the first time.
17. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes
himself too seriously.
18. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat
19. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's
20. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry
21. A drawn on thunder cloud scar over my left eyebrow
does not mean I am Harry Potter's evil twin.
22. "Potter 6, Voldemort 0” is not a valid T-shirt
23. Even though they are easier to use and probably more
effective, I will not use guns against the Death Eaters.
24. I will not charm Firenze pink and call him "my little
25. Dobby, even though he apparently went to grammar
school with him, is NOT Yoda in disguise.
26. I will not pay Peeves to rewrite the school
27. Recording a remix of "It's a Hard Knock Life" using
the house-elves as vocal backing is not funny.
28. I will not follow Potions instructions in reverse just
to see what happens.
29. I will not teach the first-years to sing "A Wizard's
Staff Has a Knob on the End."
30. It is not necessary to yell “BURN!” every time Snape
takes points from Gryffindor.
31. I am not allowed to sing "Holding Out For A Hero"
whenever Harry Potter enters the room.
32. If Lupin requests something of me, it is considered
very rude to refuse by replying, "Not by the hair of my
33. I will refrain from calling the Weasley twins “Merry
34. I will also refrain from calling Harry and Ron “Frodo
35. It probably isn’t smart to call Draco “Legolas”
36. I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a
room together and take bets on which house will come out
37. Telling Draco Malfoy to “make like a ferret and
bounce” is not a good idea.
38. Yelling "Oh my God! It's the clan!" when death eaters
are coming to get you is NOT a lifesaving line.
39. I will not change the Gryffindor password to "Draco
Malfoy is a sexy beast."
40. Telling Umbridge that cardigans are so 2005 will get
you in trouble.
41. "Accidentally" dropping Polyjuice potion with Luna
Lovegood’s hair in Snape's drink is a very unhealthy hobby.
42. Eating doxies will not make you high.
43. I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of
44. I am not allowed to point out that turning on a
flashlight is quieter than saying "lumos.”
45. Misspelling the word “serious” as “Sirius” on your
potions assignments is not a
way to make friends with your potions teacher.
46. I will not ask Professor McGonagall if she is related
to Mrs. Norris.
47. I must not charm little heart-shaped bubbles to pop up
anytime Hermione and Ron look at each other.
48. I will not point out to Trelawney that astrology needs
to be rewritten as Pluto is no longer a planet.
49. I will not borrow Trelawney´s tarot cards for a game
50. I am not allowed to hiss at Harry instead of
51. I will not switch the labels on the ingredient boxes
in Snape´s storeroom.
52. I will not rearrange the letters in my name to
something evil sounding.
53. On this note, I am also not to get a group of
followers and call them something evil.
54. Along with the above, I am not to get everyone similar
55. I will not ask Professor Sprout were she hides the
56. I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.
57. I will not bring a semi automatic weapon to Hogwarts
58. I will not confess my undying love for Professor Snape
in the middle of breakfast in the Great Hall. Professor Snape is
probably not a morning person. I will wait until dinner or at
I will not
drink Polyjuice Potion with Draco's hair in it and ask Luna
Lovegood to marry me.
60. I will not write to Voldemort with requests to be
second in command.
61. I will not drink Polyjuice Potion with Harry's hair in
it, put foundation on the scar, wear brown contact lenses, and
tell Harry that I am his father.
62. I will not set up a blind date for Harry and
63. I will not tell everyone that Draco Malfoy touches
64. When asked a question by a teacher I will not point
out that the answer is protected by a Fidelius charm and I am not
the secret keeper.
65. The Forbidden Forest is forbidden because it contains
werewolves and massive spiders, not because there is a secret
cave with the answer to every test, and I should refrain from
telling the first years that there is.
66. I must not point to the Dark Mark in the sky and
shout, "To the Batmobile, Robin!"
67. I will not ask Harry if his Voldy senses are
68. I will not ask Professor Snape questions about
Batman´s cape. Nor will I suggest that he be Robin.
69. I will not ask Professor Flitwick how Santa Claus is
70. I will not sit in Dumbledore's lap and tell him what I
want for Christmas this year.
71. I will not when looking for Professor McGonagall say,
"Hear kitty, kitty."
72. I am not allowed to tell Voldemort that he should
consider eye liner to bring out the color in his eyes.
73. I will not order seven Hogwarts house elves to go to a
costume party with me to perfect my Snow White costume.
74. I will not make the Hogwarts house elves sneak the
answers for the exams from the teachers.
75. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that my teacup
says she's lying.
76. I will not sing "We're off to see the Wizard" when
sent to the Headmaster's office.
77. I will not tell Snape he needs to go to his "Happy
78. I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my
79. I will not refer to the accio charm as "The
80. I will not set Ravenclaw house on the task of
calculating the exact value of pi.
81. Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not
count for extra credit.
82. However tempting it may be, I will not send Voldemort
a Christmas card telling him how much we all love him, even
through these difficult times.
83. I am not allowed to taunt Professor McGonagall with
84. I will not give Voldemort a toupee.
85. Yelling "To infinity, and BEYOND!" is only funny the
first time you ride a broom.
86. I will not bring "Becoming a Dark Lord for Dummies" to
read at the breakfast table.
87. It is not necessary for me to yell "BAM!" every time I
88. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer
than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do
flick" is only a wand movement.
90. I will not get the sorting hat drunk, no matter how
funny his song was the first time.
91. First years are not “the Little People.”
92. Hobbits are not magical beings in the wizarding
93. I will not sing
Multiplication Rock series during Arithmancy exams.
94. Just because I can subject someone to horrific magical
torture does not mean I should.
95. “42” is not the answer to every question on the
96. Crashing a Ford Anglia into the Whomping Willow is not
the best entrance to make. Crashing it into Snape's office
97. I will not ask Hagrid exactly how he was
conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not an
appropriate career choice.
99. I will not tell Harry that he is fictional and that
everything he has worked for is nothing more than a bestselling
100. I am not allowed to sing the Mission: Impossible
theme every time Professor Snape stalks down the hallways.
101. I will not hold my wand in the air before casting
spells and shout “I got the power!”
102. I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the
history section of the library.
103. I will not send pictures of magical creatures to the
Weekly World News.
104. I will not cover myself in ectoplasm and walk out of
a fireplace, saying I took the "Flu Network".
105. I will not refer to "The Grim" as a nice doggy.
106. I will not refer to Professor Lupin as a nice
107. I will not ask Professor Sprout where the Jolly Green
108. I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor
girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The
Chamber of Secrets".
109. When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic
after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as
my greatest influence at Hogwarts.
110. Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best
111. I am not allowed to ink my owl's feet, have it walk
across a parchment, and sell the result as cheat sheets for
Ancient Runes, even though Crabbe and Goyle keep falling for
I will not
say "Dude, get a life," to Voldemort.
is not a proper Christmas gift for Draco Malfoy.
114. Asking Mad-Eye Moody to turn Malfoy back into a
ferret so I could keep him as a pet was not appropriate,
skin is not green and I should stop calling him 'The Jolly Green
116. Sending love notes to Professor Snape and signing
them 'With Love, Draco Malfoy' is not appropriate.
117. Neither is signing them with: 'I had a great time
last night, Argus Filch.'
118. Breaking into song during Potions class is not
119. Especially if the song is 'I feel pretty, oh so
120. Or 'I'm too sexy'.
121. I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to
destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal
122. Lucius Malfoy's cane is not a 'pimp cane'.
123. Singing "Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead!" is not
appropriate, even after Bellatrix has been Avada Kedavra'd.
124. Crabbe and Goyle should not be referred to as "Bulk
Dumber" is equally inappropriate.
126. I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle
collectively as "Team Rocket" either.
127. I am not to tell Muggle-born first-years that Bertie
Bott's Every Flavor Beans taste better when one eats a whole
128. I will not take out a life insurance policy on any
Hogwarts Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.
129. I will not attempt to repel Dementors by covering
myself in chocolate body paint.
130. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the
131. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take
advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
132. I will not ask the Weasley twins if "ginger" biscuits
will turn me into a member of their family
I will not
poke the Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their
House colors indicate that they are ‘covered in bees’
allowed to have a toad, rat, cat or owl. I am not allowed to have
a reticulated python, a snow leopard, a Tasmanian devil, or a
will not change the password to the prefects’ bathroom to ‘Makes
getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty’.
I will not
go to class sky clad.
heard every possibly joke about Oliver Wood’s name” is not a
I will not
provide Luna Lovegood with Coast-to-coast AM transcripts.
will not place anything by Silver Ravenwolf on the library
Lupin does not want a flea collar, and I am not to get him
Nor am I
allowed to put one on him while he is sleeping.
I will not
Ravenclaws are not ‘Mentats in training’.
Engorgio charm on certain body parts of the human anatomy is not
permitted on school grounds, not even for entertainment
generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I
should not attempt to disprove this theory, no matter how wicked
the result would be.
fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil,
I will not lift my wand skywards and shout “There can only be
I will not
teach the first years to play The Penis Game in the Great Hall
in class what the Avada Kedavra cruse does, yelling “It does
DEATH!!” may be correct but is not the manner in which one should
check this-here shit out!” is not an appropriate way to announce
that you are about to perform an experimental spell.
everyone in the Great Hall to do the Time Warp will not earn me
any house points.