"People always tell me stuff like, 'exceed your own expectations', but how can I do that when my expectations are higher than Stephanie Meyers when she wrote Twilight?" - Waylon Moosberger, Professional Writer
Yeah. That's how I think of myself. A professional writer. To make things formal, I guess I should start with my name. It's Steven, but, heck, you can call me Waylon Moosberger. I know, both names are pretty stupid. I'm in middle school already, but I've already written four short stories. Also, now I am finally done with the freaking novel (After six months!) You can see it.. Right.. About..
Aw man! It doesn't work! Whatever, just leave it as it is. I don't know how Future Author does it. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, the novel. SO YEAH. YOU'RE WELCOME. Twenty-two chapters of awesomeness. Also, props to you if you actually get the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy references I planted all over the place. (Forty-two.. Fucking everywhere!) Excuse my language, you see, a lot of my characters swear in my novel, and I think I picked it up from them. (If that's even possible). Anyway, what was I saying? Ah, yes, the Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy, forty-two, what else can be said about it? Eh. That book probably would have been my Favorite Book if it hadn't been for Middle School: The Worst Years of my Life. You know why it's my favorite? Pictures! Pictures everywhere! Art! In speaking of art, I actually stink at art (other than stick figures) but I guess it's good to have sh!tty art than no art at all. Actually, that can be applied to a lot of things. Like math tests, for example. That's always why I fail them. Not on purpose, of course. Writing is just what I'm good at. I like humorous stories the most, rather than dramatic love stories. In my opinion, "I love you" more or less ruins a story. Like, I guess a little love is okay, but it has to have action or humor sandwhiched in between. Espescially crude humor. Did I tell you I am a fan of that? Also, I'm not a fan of bloody hairy ugly kinky sex stories either. For obvious reasons. Other than that, though, and I'll take a look at your stuff. I haven't seen a total piece of crap yet on here, so how bad can yours be? I also sort of consider myself as a writing critic, because I sort of like to evalute others' writing. But I'm barely in middle school, so you can take my opinion with a grain of salt. Actually, take everything with a grain of salt on here I've been seeing too many "Oh my God I'm so depressed" stories around here lately. Ever thought about adding on a little humor, you guys? Maybe...Possibly...Poop humor?
Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking:What kind of fucking asswipe would fucking enjoy fucking poop humor? That is the lowest form of writing. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!
And I guess the kind of fucking asswipe you're thinking about is: Me. But, really, ever thought of giving crap a chance?
Or at least giving my crappy stories a chance? You are on my homepage, after all.
YESS! I finally figured out how to add images! Anyway, as you can see above, the following content has been produced by Waylon Moosberger, Professional Writer. If you don't like swearing, poop jokes, or happy endings, leave this page NOW.
..If you do happen to like those things, sit back, relax, and enjoy.
You certainly deserve it.
I ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY cannot wait for this game! Pikmin 3, August 4th!
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